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PostPosted: Fri May 22, 2020 2:36 pm 
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Aaarrrgh wrote:
As someone who has not been keeping up with everything in the Foraine story, this really helped me understand the main characters a lot better. Also, the ending was very well crafted. Thank you for sharing!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! This was an interesting story to write in that pretty much everything we see in this story has already been established in other stories, but this is the first time we're really seeing it specifically from Elise's point of view. There are a few things that are expanded on more than in other stories, like the character of Adele, who was never named (though Orcish established that it was the chambermaid who discovered Elise's nature as a Mage). It also established Elise as a painter, so we've got that going for us now!

Anyway, thanks for reading! I'm hoping to do better with writing this summer, so who knows? Maybe we'll get a real furthering of the Thorneau storyline in the next few months. I have no specific plans on that front, but I am hoping to write more.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2020 9:55 am 
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@The Project of a Lifetime: I want a closet like that! Not for shoes, exactly, but art supplies, computer parts, board games, books, and everything else I forget about saving for a rainy day.

@The Things a Father Knows: My mother seemed to just know things like this, but I never have. Then again, the Comte's personality is much closer to Mom's than to mine, and I can at least identify with the gift-giving situation. It's definitely nice to see his interactions with the townsfolk, and how they feel about Elise. It would be great to see her lead the town into prosperity after her current mission.

@Stillness: Chandra's always amusing, and the notes about vocabulary are even more so. Then for everything to come down to a misunderstanding of which confusingly-named position feels so real. And now I wonder which of my children could learn such stillness; I probably can't, due to never being quite so in the moment, but neither am I ever as fidgety as she or they. Describing Mother Luti as the Abbess feels off, though.

@Poetry: A short little poem about raw emotion feels perfect for Sharaka's first foray. Sharing it with Elphimas must have been at once terrifying and comforting, but I'm not sure whether the characteristically subdued reaction would have felt perfect or stony. Sharaka must really trust them at this point, doesn't she?

@On the Fence: Margot really would have been a good Comtesse, wouldn't she? Both strong and kind, combining the best part of each parent. This would have been such a hopeful moment, had that hope not already been dashed. Sir Ruth's attitude resonates here for its :g: acceptance of destiny, though my own is of course much different, and the chastisement line made me laugh. That promise, though...

@Missing Persons: That's a level of talent that surpasses anything in my family, and of course Elise's crush is painfully cute. But to miss oneself, even in part, is horrifying to me. I'm glad Henri was able to give at least part of that back.

This was an interesting story to write in that pretty much everything we see in this story has already been established in other stories, but this is the first time we're really seeing it specifically from Elise's point of view. There are a few things that are expanded on more than in other stories, like the character of Adele, who was never named (though Orcish established that it was the chambermaid who discovered Elise's nature as a Mage).

At that, it feels very real that her name wouldn't have come up from other points of view, but that to Elise, she was a friend.


Last edited by Brentain on Sun Jun 28, 2020 10:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 2:06 am 
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Brentain wrote:
@The Things a Father Knows: My mother seemed to just know things like this, but I never have. Then again, the Comte's personality is much closer to Mom's than to mine, and I can at least identify with the gift-giving situation. It's definitely nice to see his interactions with the townsfolk, and how they feel about Elise. It would be great to see her lead the town into prosperity after her current mission.

I was really happy with how the Comte's relationship with the townsfolk turned out. Obviously, their fear hints at the depth of the power the nobility hold over the peasantry, but in the Comte's unique circumstance, he breaks that mold in an endearing way. As for Elise's return to Mont-sur-Mer, I certainly hope this happens at some point, but if I'm being honest, I kind of hope Orcish writes it. I really love the way Orcish writes Elise.

Brentain wrote:
@On the Fence: Margot really would have been a good Comtesse, wouldn't she? Both strong and kind, combining the best part of each parent. This would have been such a hopeful moment, had that hope not already been dashed. Sir Ruth's attitude resonates here for its :G: acceptance of destiny, though my own is of course much different, and the chastisement line made me laugh. That promise, though...

I believe that she would have been a good Comtesse, yes. Admittedly, we've never had the opportunity to see her in that role (it might be a VERY interesting story to have her mother force her to do a "trial run," perhaps leaving her in charge for a few days or something. If somebody wants to write that, I would not object!) but from what we have seen of her, I think she would have been respected for the right reasons, not feared for the wrong ones.

The LaRoux sisters, or specifically stories about them, do fascinate me, because as you allude to here, any story we tell of their goodness in the past is wrapped up in the tragedy of their future, which we learned first. It's unfortunate, but contextualizes the chronologically earlier stories in an interesting way. Plus, I just like the stories!

As for Sir Ruth, I agree with you that she feels pretty here, but I would say also , with her sense of duty. What I found most interesting about Sir Ruth here is her taking on a mentor role for young Margot. I loved how she was mentally critiquing everything Margot was doing while outwardly having a simple conversation.

Brentain wrote:
@Missing Persons: That's a level of talent that surpasses anything in my family, and of course Elise's crush is painfully cute. But to miss oneself, even in part, is horrifying to me. I'm glad Henri was able to give at least part of that back.

Yeah, I definitely feel pretty bad for Elise here. She's someone who has lost so much in her life, and with how close she's been with her family, it makes sense that she feels she's left pieces behind. That's another reason I'm hopeful that narratively, we will eventually bring her back to Mont-sur-Mer. I hope to see her reclaim at least a piece of that little girl.

Brentain wrote:
This was an interesting story to write in that pretty much everything we see in this story has already been established in other stories, but this is the first time we're really seeing it specifically from Elise's point of view. There are a few things that are expanded on more than in other stories, like the character of Adele, who was never named (though Orcish established that it was the chambermaid who discovered Elise's nature as a Mage).

At that, it feels very real that her name wouldn't have come up from other points of view, but that to Elise, she was a friend.

I'm glad that worked for you. It made all kinds of sense to me that Elise would both know and care who she was. Margot likely knew who she was, and very likely the Comte, but to most other people, even Brigitte, really, she was probably more or less invisible. To Elise, though, Adele was her only friend, outside of the family.

Thanks for reading!


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