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PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:02 pm 
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Barinellos wrote:
Huh, thanks.
I'll be truthful, I'm surprised you recalled it was coming up. Not that I thought you'd miss it, I just figured you'd notice it pop up on the bottom of the page.

While I do have a pretty decent memory and would love to take credit for recalling the event, if I'm being honest, it was just blind luck. I was looking back over some old posts in this thread, and happened upon an old happy birthday one for you. That made me realize that there's a solid chance I wouldn't be able to do that tomorrow, so I thought I would drop one in now. My birthdays haven't been a big deal for me in a long time, but I like to send out the good vibes on other peoples' days, when I can.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 9:59 pm 
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Happy birthday, Barinellos! I was able to make it in time to say it on the day itself. :D


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:15 pm 
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Happy birthday Barinellos!

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:38 pm 
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Happy birthday!

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:43 pm 
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Thanks again everyone!

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 2:29 am 
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I'm dealing with very confusing feelings right now.
A girl I had a thing for is back in town after having graduated college.

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To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:39 am 
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Barinellos wrote:
I'm dealing with very confusing feelings right now.
A girl I had a thing for is back in town after having graduated college.

I very much get what you're saying. Those resurfacing emotions can be really hard to untangle, to say nothing of whatever circumstances went along with it. I don't really have any good advice for you, but I hope things get un-confusing soon!

* * *

On a personal note, I broke a tooth, and naturally it happened Friday night, so there are pretty much no dentists open in the area. Consequently, I have been in constant - thought mercifully dull - pain for the past two days. I hoping I can get in somewhere tomorrow and get on some antibiotics, because sleeping has been a significant challenge, which is, you know, not ideal.

This is coming directly on the heels of being sick for the past couple of weeks, which I'm not completely over yet, although I am close. Additionally, I've been buried with grading, which has been harder to work up the motivation to do, what with the illness.

In other words, its been a pretty ****ty few weeks for me, but hopefully things will turn around very soon.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:58 am 
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@Raven: Oof. Hope it gets real better very soon.

@Barinellos: This sounds somewhat familiar to me. Has a similar thing happened to you relatively recently?

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 12:13 pm 
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@Raven: Oof. Hope it gets real better very soon.

Thanks. In all likelihood, this is some sort of ironic punishment for the things I do to my characters. Denner, in particular, has been much on my mind the past few days.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 3:54 pm 
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Or maybe Raiker isn't content with his fellow characters anymore and is setting his aims higher? I didn't forget Nesting Dolls.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 7:43 pm 
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Sorry I wasn't around for the actual, so I'll wish you a belated happy birthmas, Barinellos.

@Lord Luna: Yeah, I get where you're coming from. As for feedback/critique, as I always say, pretty much any feedback is nice to hear (well, see, I guess :)) and I wish more people would do that, but I get it, and I wouldn't want anybody here to feel pressured into doing anything they aren't comfortable with.

I really should open up more about what I've been putting myself through, mentally, but its hard to work up the courage to do so. Essentially, I've been stuck too far in my own head for the last several months, and I haven't quite had the time to take a hard look into myself and figure out where I should be, if that makes any sense.

I've especially been feeling stressed lately, in some ways I wasn't aware of until they started affecting me, and in some ways I am very aware of.

Like, for the last few weeks, I've been occasionally waking up at 3 to 4 a.m., and in my groggy half-awake state, been convinced that a burglar was inside the house. This is not something that Ever worried me while awake, but apparently it's enough of a subconscious worry that it bubbles to the surface when I can't properly reason out what I'm sensing. It's been wrecking my sleep as well, as the adrenaline rush means I'm very awake for the next hour or so.

Other, simpler ways that I've been stressing out has been the, perhaps kind of cliché "sacrificing of myself for the benefit of others" regarding my meatspace friends. One in particular has been wallowing in so much self-pity that it's become physically apparent, and essentially I'm his only release for the week, so I've been forgoing taking weekends to myself so that he can revitalize a bit. I hope I don't come across as pretentious or something for saying this, because that's not my intention -- to be completely honest, I feel like I will need to vent about him at some point because he's been getting on my nerves recently.

But circling back around, I do feel like I need to talk about why I feel like I can't read the wonderful stories you all have been posting, if for no other reason than it might force me to take the time to examine myself and make a bit of an emotional breakthrough.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 8:32 pm 
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Sometimes I wonder about showing up contented to this thread, but I think you'll all forgive me if I offer a little advice

Barinellos, I would presume you know this because you are friends after a fashion. That's good! If you want to resolve your conflict, I don't think anything could grow without that kind of fertile soil. I'd recommend hanging out at least once and trying to get a feel for the, well, feelings, of all involved -- than means your own as well. Wondering is what will eat you alive, experiencing will at least give you something, however matters resolve (or don't)

Raven I understand your wellness issues. It seems like some painkillers and that monday dentist visit will be the best medicine for the immediate problems. For the rest, there's Chicken Noodle Soup and seeing a real doctor.

And Luna... for a case of the Shirou Emiyas like this, I'd say to take two seasons of Unlimited Bladeworks and one of Helpful Fox Senko-san and call me in the morning ;)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have this Lion, Scarecrow, and Tin Man on line 2...

In all seriousness, I do hope everyone ends up on the mend sooner rather than later. I consider you all my friends, and it's saddening to know you're all suffering. My biggest complaints are petty -- My current domicile is fairly cramped and my family hasn't gotten back to me with any feedback from test reader copies of my second novel which started circulating I think in Feburary when I've put a third in the can. And all the same I haven't been doing a huge amount of reading and commenting because I've "been busy". True, I have had a lot of that output, with prose and now criticism that I'm putting out there as a super sideways way to promote my prose (because I've found I'm too concerned about being rude to present pitches for paywalled content without other content to act as the bait on the hook), but I've always thought "busy" was a lame excuse for me to use when I don't have a 9-5 setup. I don't want to promise to get around to more because I don't like making promises I might end up not keeping emphatically and in good time (I'm an otherworldly eldritch horror of my word), but I do want to get around to it, so if anyone would care to leave a direct link to a piece they would most like looked at right now, I can say that I will make a good faith effort to find the time to read it, compose a response, and not choke back or double think posting that response.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 12:31 am 
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@luna: I think it's really cool that you want to be there for your friend, but if you're doing it at the expense of your own well being it won't actually help in the long run. There's a reason the Bible says to "love your neighbor as yourself". If you don't love and care for yourself, you cannot fully do it for others either. Maybe try to explain to this friend that you need a few days on your own to work through some stuff, hopefully he'll understand.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:46 pm 
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Raven I understand your wellness issues. It seems like some painkillers and that monday dentist visit will be the best medicine for the immediate problems. For the rest, there's Chicken Noodle Soup and seeing a real doctor.

Sometimes I think I might be too devoted to my job. I could have gotten in to a dentist appointment at 8:30 this morning, but I said "no" because I had a class I needed to teach at 9:00. Instead, I'll need to endure this tooth pain until 2:00 tomorrow...

I'm sure that my students appreciate my dedication. :roll:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2019 10:08 pm 
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Sometimes I wonder about showing up contented to this thread, but I think you'll all forgive me if I offer a little advice

While I don't mean any ill will towards anyone who needs to vent or wants to share their troubles, I also think it's kind of important to have talk that is a little more contented/upbeat/whatever, because I know when I'm feeling particularly stressed out, I cannot bring myself to deal with other people's problems. So yeah, keep coming around and spreading the joy, because I think we all need a little joy, especially lately.

And Luna... for a case of the Shirou Emiyas like this, I'd say to take two seasons of Unlimited Bladeworks and one of Helpful Fox Senko-san and call me in the morning ;)

I'll... take it under advisement. I'm trying to cross items off the list of anime I've wanted to watch before getting into newer ones I've never heard of, and I've got vaguely personal reasons for avoiding the Fate/Series anyway.

Aaarrrgh wrote:
@luna: I think it's really cool that you want to be there for your friend, but if you're doing it at the expense of your own well being it won't actually help in the long run. There's a reason the Bible says to "love your neighbor as yourself". If you don't love and care for yourself, you cannot fully do it for others either. Maybe try to explain to this friend that you need a few days on your own to work through some stuff, hopefully he'll understand.

I'm really, really torn on this, because on the one hand, I know that he would understand me taking some time to myself; but on the other hand, I also feel extra pressure because I'm the only one who drives and we all live like 20 miles from each other, so if I cancel, nobody hangs out. I'm also almost constantly stressing myself out thinking about how I come across in my conversations, so I'm always worried that I'm painting myself as more than I am or making out like my problems are bigger than they are, but that's exactly why I've been saying I've been too far in my own head and need something to help me let go of all this worry.

Sometimes I think I might be too devoted to my job. I could have gotten in to a dentist appointment at 8:30 this morning, but I said "no" because I had a class I needed to teach at 9:00. Instead, I'll need to endure this tooth pain until 2:00 tomorrow...

I'm sure that my students appreciate my dedication. :roll:

I'm kind of sorry I didn't comment, because I at least know that sense of dedication; the way I was raised, I basically see the only excuse to not go to work is that I physically can't get out of bed. I know how trying to "power through" something like that can end up being more of a pain, and I want to reassure you: nobody who is worth caring about, is going to make an issue over your taking some time because you need to go to the doctor, and anybody who is worth caring about, is not going to want to see you working through so much pain. You are not as sharp as you might think you are when you have to deal with something like that, and you're not going doing anyone any favors by putting off treatment. Please, take care of yourself. I say all that because I'm a friend, and I care for your well-being.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 1:38 am 
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I would also advise talking to your friend about the situation. You are currently describing a toxic parasitic cycle where both of you are going to crash if you don’t find a way to work through it. Or at least that is how it has ended up for me in similar situations in the past. Sapping you on the weekends is eventually going to leave everyone drained; and it sounds like your friend needs to work through some stuff they are avoiding atm.

As always plz feel free to disregard my dumb a and plz tell me if i hav accidentally caused offense. Im an armchair astrophysicist who knows everything and nothing.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 1:44 am 
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If it makes anyone feel better; there is probably a 95% chance that my last week was the worst one here.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 7:11 am 
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@Luna
Don't stress the recommendations; though I wouldn't not recommend the series, it was more of a... joke? sideways reference?... anyway (there's a recurring theme in UBW about whether or not it's wrong to put others before your own necessities.). Others are giving you more immediately useful advice that I can agree with.

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I'm a (self) published author now! You can find my first book, The Accursed, on Amazon as an ebook or a paperback!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 8:29 am 
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Sometimes I think I might be too devoted to my job. I could have gotten in to a dentist appointment at 8:30 this morning, but I said "no" because I had a class I needed to teach at 9:00. Instead, I'll need to endure this tooth pain until 2:00 tomorrow...

I'm sure that my students appreciate my dedication. :roll:

I'm kind of sorry I didn't comment, because I at least know that sense of dedication; the way I was raised, I basically see the only excuse to not go to work is that I physically can't get out of bed. I know how trying to "power through" something like that can end up being more of a pain, and I want to reassure you: nobody who is worth caring about, is going to make an issue over your taking some time because you need to go to the doctor, and anybody who is worth caring about, is not going to want to see you working through so much pain. You are not as sharp as you might think you are when you have to deal with something like that, and you're not going doing anyone any favors by putting off treatment. Please, take care of yourself. I say all that because I'm a friend, and I care for your well-being.

What are you talking about? I'm every bit as sharp as I ever did!

:huh:

Well, joking aside, there were some mitigating circumstances, though I was certainly regretting it this morning. And for the record, my various bosses would not have had a problem with me canceling for this; it was my call, not theirs. Now I just need to make it through the next six hours or so and I can, hopefully, begin to heal.

Thank you for the concern, though. I appreciate it.

mjack33 wrote:
If it makes anyone feel better; there is probably a 95% chance that my last week was the worst one here.

Ouch. Knowing my week, that paints a bleak picture. I hope you're doing alright, considering everything that needs considering.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 9:29 am 
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Be thankful whenever you have problems that can eventually get better. Some things can’t be, won’t ever be fixed. Sometimes those things hurt like hell. And the world will go on with or without you. The world doesn’t give a **** about who is ready to start moving again.

Life’s a beach like that.

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