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Shall we witness the End of Hours?
Yea: 80%  80%  [ 4 ]
Nay: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not As Is: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Abstain: 20%  20%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 5
Total voters : 5
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 Post subject: [Vote] The End of Hours
PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2019 4:35 pm 
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Title: The End of Hours
Author: RavenoftheBlack
Status: Public
Word Count: 2885

This is for the voting "week" of February.

The End of Hours


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 5:11 am 
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So, naturally I'm voting yes on this.
Given the hand I had in inspiring it, I feel like this is the sort of thing that exemplifies what the MEM is, at its heart.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 3:29 am 
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I really like how the imply uses beauty to imply functionality so the reader (or, at least, me) is primed to assume it's a really good rifle. makes it seem for a bit like maybe he's gonna get out of it 'cause I was assuming the rifle was real.

:duel:

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I tend to agree with Razor.

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The BLOCK I'm currently pretending I'll finish: Fleets Of Ossia (complete!) | Wavebreak (complete!) | The Second Flood (in progress!)
Razorborne and friends teach music theory to chumps like you: 12tone


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2019 7:13 pm 
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Quote:
He wore a brown baloth-leather hat low, and wore a faded poncho that had once been red, green, and blue, but now looked more like dusty shades of tan.

I don't think that second "wore" is necessary here, as it sounds repetitive and you've already established that you're describing the character's appearance.

Other than that, I really liked it. I was spoiled to the ending because I glanced at some of the comments here beforehand, so the entire time I was kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it was worth it. Your descriptions of The Duchess in particular was masterfully creepy. The only part I didn't think was strictly necessary was saying that Hours ended up back at his shop -- not that I think it should be taken out, but it adds a layer of gruesomeness that I personally don't like, especially when we're already given an idea of how large the explosion was.

Easy Yea from I.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2019 9:03 pm 
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Quote:
He wore a brown baloth-leather hat low, and wore a faded poncho that had once been red, green, and blue, but now looked more like dusty shades of tan.

I don't think that second "wore" is necessary here, as it sounds repetitive and you've already established that you're describing the character's appearance.

Other than that, I really liked it. I was spoiled to the ending because I glanced at some of the comments here beforehand, so the entire time I was kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it was worth it. Your descriptions of The Duchess in particular was masterfully creepy. The only part I didn't think was strictly necessary was saying that Hours ended up back at his shop -- not that I think it should be taken out, but it adds a layer of gruesomeness that I personally don't like, especially when we're already given an idea of how large the explosion was.

Easy Yea from I.

This is just me personally, but I don't tend to read that line as literal, more like a grizzled old storyteller telling an old story and adding a bit of snark at the end. But even if it is literal...I don't dislike the visual... :blush:

Thanks for reading and voting!


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