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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:09 am 
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I make a merchant selling shiny trinkets and 'fine' goods... and you reduce him to a fish merchant. :nonono:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:53 am 
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I make a merchant selling shiny trinkets and 'fine' goods... and you reduce him to a fish merchant. :nonono:


eh..knock it to marcus not paying attention :V

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 11:34 am 
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A likely story. :shifty:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 12:32 pm 
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A likely story. :shifty:

I blame marcus cuz he can't argue with me :V

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 12:55 pm 
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He would if he could. :V

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 1:04 pm 
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oh god that sentence about the rain hurts to read lol

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 1:11 pm 
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In what way?

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 1:16 pm 
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It just seems sad and pathetic..like it starts out all grand and poetic and then falls flat at the end lol

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 2:00 pm 
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1. Capitalization and punctuation are important.

The rain slowly stopped but the grey clouds remained threatening to unleash the rain.

2. Use commas but use them correctly. Use them for series of items, to coordinate adjectives, to separate independent clauses, to separate introductory elements and to separate parenthetical elements.

The rain slowly stopped, but the grey clouds remained, threatening to unleash the rain.

3. Don't be lazy about adjectives and adverbs. A man isnt very tired, he's exhausted. A person isn't very sad, they're morose.

The rain begrudgingly stopped, but the dismal clouds remained, threatening to unleash the rain.

4. Same can be said about verbs. Spice it up! The rain doesn't just stop, it peters out, it wanes, it abates, or it might even dissipate.

The rain begrudgingly began to dissipate, but across the sky dismal clouds persisted, threatening to unleash the rain.

5. Avoid repeating the same words over and over. In just fourteen words 'rain' appears twice. Almost 15% of that sentence is the word rain!

The downpour begrudgingly began to dissipate, but across the sky dismal clouds persisted, threatening to unleash another deluge.

6. When possible, avoid starting with 'And', 'But', 'The', and other commonly used or incorrect starting words.

Begrudgingly, the downpour began to dissipate, but across the sky dismal clouds persisted, threatening to unleash another deluge.

7. Make it flow. Alternate sentence lengths between one sentence and the next as wells as among your clauses. Monotony is never your friend in writing.

Begrudgingly, the downpour began to dissipate, yet even then dismal clouds persisted. They hung low in the sky, as if threatening to unleash another deluge upon the city and its already drenched inhabitants..

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