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Shall we accept this Business Proposal?
Yea: 40%  40%  [ 2 ]
Nay: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not As Is: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Abstain: 60%  60%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 5
Total voters : 5
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 11:27 am 
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Title: A Business Proposal
Author: RavenoftheBlack
Status: Public
Word Count: 4801

This is for the voting period of August, 2019.

A Business Proposal


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 11:40 am 
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Based on feedback from the original thread, I have made a slight alteration to the first version of the story. One line was changed, and about four or five paragraphs were added. Both changes are near the end of the story, and here is how that section appears now:

Spoiler


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:26 pm 
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I like the addition a lot :D I feel the ground slipping under Thomas' feet.

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Last edited by Huey Nomure on Tue Jul 30, 2019 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:49 pm 
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I like the addition [i]a lot[/it] :D I feel the ground slipping under Thomas' feet.

I'm really glad it works for you, Huey! It was based on your feedback, after all! Rereading it, I very much agree with you that the turn was a bit too sudden in the original draft.

Thanks again!


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