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Vote in "From Beyond the Edge of the World"
Yea: 80%  80%  [ 4 ]
Nay: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not As Is: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Abstain: 20%  20%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 5
Total voters : 5
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PostPosted: Fri May 31, 2019 8:44 pm 
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Title: From Beyond the Edge of the World
Author: RavenoftheBlack
Status: Public
Word Count:

This is for the voting "week" of June.

The only thing changed from the original posting is that I changed one "to" to "of" thanks to Huey catching the mistake.

From Beyond the Edge of the World


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 1:39 am 
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I think you probably already know how I'd feel like this, but I made sure to read through and have formally voted now!

I like the perspective on it -- in some ways, it reminds me of Deluge in how it focuses on individual lives caught up (even now, theoretically eons after its dissolution) in the scope of the Cabal's operations

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2019 11:29 am 
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I really liked this when I first read it, and will probably vote yea (I want to read it through one more time first). There was a thing it made me think about, though. And it's a bigger thing than just this story, but this is where it got triggered:

How much time can we assume has passed between a story's content and its telling, especially when it is told from the first person?

The reason I'm thinking about this is that the narrator wouldn't have known in the moment that she was feeling "a plane rise up to catch me" because she had never planeswalked before, and only ever heard the word "plane" for the first time mere minutes earlier. But if she's telling the story years later, then that's the terminology she would use. I remember it threw me off for a moment the first time I read it, before I realized that it can be justified by the passing of time between the event and the telling of it. I know that unless the narrator specifically mentions knowing more know than when the story took place I assume that they are at about the same knowledge and experience level. But that might just be me.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2019 11:46 am 
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Aaarrrgh wrote:
I really liked this when I first read it, and will probably vote yea (I want to read it through one more time first). There was a thing it made me think about, though. And it's a bigger thing than just this story, but this is where it got triggered:

How much time can we assume has passed between a story's content and its telling, especially when it is told from the first person?

The reason I'm thinking about this is that the narrator wouldn't have known in the moment that she was feeling "a plane rise up to catch me" because she had never planeswalked before, and only ever heard the word "plane" for the first time mere minutes earlier. But if she's telling the story years later, then that's the terminology she would use. I remember it threw me off for a moment the first time I read it, before I realized that it can be justified by the passing of time between the event and the telling of it. I know that unless the narrator specifically mentions knowing more know than when the story took place I assume that they are at about the same knowledge and experience level. But that might just be me.

Thanks for reading, Aaarrrgh!

Yes, this is narrated by a later version of Urassaya, after she had gotten some planeswalking experience under her belt. There are a few dropped-in hints throughout the piece, like when she says, "I have heard that in other places – now that I know that other places exist – " Here, she is talking about other planes with other customs, although admittedly, it could apply to other sectors of Baltfir. She makes a similar comment about the name of the goblins, which again could be explained by when the Parati says the word. There is another aside about the volvers that is not explained in-text, and again, the assumption is that what she's learned since this experience has led her to that term.

If people think it would be helpful, I can drop in a similar aside when she says the word plane. Something like:

RavenoftheBlack wrote:
As my mind registered the meaning of those words, the reality that my grandsire and my daughter were both dead, I started to fall. I tried to catch myself on something, but my hand passed through whatever it had been. I waited to hit the floor then, to curl up next to my husband’s body, but I just kept falling. My world fell apart, and I plummeted through the cracks.


I fell then, just like I had fallen that day years before when I touched the sky. I fell the same way, aware and yet unware, and completely helpless. And what I saw when I fell, or rather what I felt, was the same thing I had seen in that brief instance when I touched the sky. Only now do I have even a sense of what I saw that day, when I caught the slightest vision of the sightless forever in which my world, Baltfir, sits like an object suspended.


I have no idea how long I fell, but eventually I felt a plane - which I now know my kind calls them - rise up to catch me in its arms and bring me safely back down to the ground, a refugee from beyond the edge of the world.


I'm perfectly willing to do that if people think it would be useful. It fits into the general motif of the piece, I think.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:03 pm 
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I don't really think it is strictly necessary, but it would have helped me accept the line at first glance. Of course, most people probably don't put as much thought into narrative structure as I do, so it may very well not have bothered anyone else.

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