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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 8:11 pm 
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In which Kertes looks for answers, and Dusk's world is introduced.

Yep, yet another chapter of this thing. Being relatively mild as far as grisly details go, I think I'll skip the warnings/summary thing this time. Hopefully the information isn't too thick in the last section.

First chapter: The Deal

Second Chapter: A Life For A Life

word count: around 2.1k


extra

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To anybody reading this, including my future selves: have a good life!

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Last edited by Huey Nomure on Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:38 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 1:07 am 
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The imagery in your stories continues to be great. I don't think I'll ever tire of your demonic descriptions. The look into Dusk's world is also compelling, and it ends just a little too soon. Looking forward to your next installment.

I assumed the Faith's Blades were some kind of religious paramilitary force, or religious police, like the Crusaders and the Spanish Inquisition.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:22 am 
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The imagery in your stories continues to be great. I don't think I'll ever tire of your demonic descriptions.

Thank you! I'm glad the demons draw the reader's eyes as I aimed for. I don't know how many of them I'll be able to fin in the story, but I'm happy I opened the setting to a range of very diverse demons.

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The look into Dusk's world is also compelling, and it ends just a little too soon. Looking forward to your next installment.

I hope this wasn't too big of a problem, we'll have more space to know Dusk and the other kids in the next chapters. Next stop will probably be Dusk's and Bentres' Second Namegiving.

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I assumed the Faith's Blades were some kind of religious paramilitary force, or religious police, like the Crusaders and the Spanish Inquisition.

There are the Shields and the Inquisitors for most of those things; the Citadels wield absolute power in Latmes, and the clergy have a remarkable weight in the imperial's politics*, so there's no shortage of people willing to work for them.
Spoiler

*The Bishops personally choose the Emperors from the royal families; the Divine Voices act as regents if no suitable candidate is present and can dethrone an Emperor with a quill's stroke.

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Johann the Bard (The Adventure Zone) wrote:

To anybody reading this, including my future selves: have a good life!

My creative archive


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:44 am 
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I'm finally up to date on this one, and I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing, Huey!

I'm basically going to echo CKY. The demonology in this storyline continues to be really fascinating -- very different from the standard depictions, in a way that feels fresh but also totally comprehensible. Your descriptions of the demons themselves are otherworldly and chilling, and I like the contrast between Bosek here and Thutmoset in the previous pieces.

Kertes feels a little more real to me here as well. She's still determined to keep her mask on in public, but the bile that's churning beneath that exterior is becoming more and more apparent. I again find myself thinking that she would have had a fascinating conversation with Tryst. I suspect it would have had an unhappy outcome, but it would have been dynamite to eavesdrop on.

The glimpse of the orphanage is really tantalizing, and -- dense though I am -- I'm now grokking where I may have seen Dusk before, as it were... :blush:

Anyway, thanks again for posting! I enjoyed this one, and I'm looking forward to seeing where things go!

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:35 am 
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Thank you for reading and commenting!

I'm basically going to echo CKY. The demonology in this storyline continues to be really fascinating -- very different from the standard depictions, in a way that feels fresh but also totally comprehensible. Your descriptions of the demons themselves are otherworldly and chilling, and I like the contrast between Bosek here and Thutmoset in the previous pieces.

Thank you! The design of Bosek's summoning "animation" has been integral to his character design; at first he was just a demonic crocodile viashino, then I thought "that's too simple": I didn't want him to move his jaws while speaking, so I had an opportunity to do something fun with his tongue (that came out wrong) and I ended up making Bosek the small snake in the crocodile's jaws; now that I think of it, I'm reminded of the crocodile mother carrying her spawn within her mouth. I think it's rather symbolic, as his true body isn't the scary massive physique that one would usually be afraid of: on one hand, he represents hidden danger, on the other he masks his (supposed) weakness in a big and fearsome facade.

In addition, Bosek is almost a haughty uncle once you get past the human sacrifice thing, Thutmoset is more similar to the classic Faustian devil.

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Kertes feels a little more real to me here as well. She's still determined to keep her mask on in public, but the bile that's churning beneath that exterior is becoming more and more apparent.

That's good. In this chapter she's partially unwinding: the guilt is there, but it generates regret rather than blind rage. It's certainly eating her from inside, but as long as masks go it's more manageable.

Quote:
I'm now grokking where I may have seen Dusk before, as it were... :blush:

Spoiler

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Johann the Bard (The Adventure Zone) wrote:

To anybody reading this, including my future selves: have a good life!

My creative archive


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