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Shall we vote in "The Why?"
Poll ended at Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:03 pm
Yea: 100%  100%  [ 6 ]
Nay: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not As Is: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Abstain: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 6
Total voters : 6
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 7:03 pm 
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Title: The Why
Author: Brentain
Status: Public
Word Count: 845

The Why


This work introduces the River pattern to Aubedore, later seen in The Weight of a Soul. This version has been changed slightly from the original, partly in response to comments there.

This will also make Brentain an official M:EMber.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 3:18 pm 
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Definitely a "Yea" from me. This is a short story, and in some ways, it feels like the beginning of a much bigger story featuring the centaur, but it does several things beyond that. It shows us a little more of Nasperge and how he caters his readings to his unique patrons. It introduces a new Aubedore pattern that I quite like. And it is good characterization for a new character who I have high hopes for. I very much look forward to seeing her show up again in the future!

And, of course, this makes Brentain a full-fledged M:EMber. Brentain, I feel, has been a positive presence around these parts for a long time, and I think this is long overdue!

:)


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 9:07 pm 
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And, of course, this makes Brentain a full-fledged M:EMber. Brentain, I feel, has been a positive presence around these parts for a long time, and I think this is long overdue!

:)

Seconding this sentiment pretty intensely.

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To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:26 pm 
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Yes, this is a good intro piece, for character, aubedore pattern, and Brentain's M:EMbership alike. Clear Yea.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:31 pm 
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I had difficulties understanding the spatial relations of the cards as Nasperge set them on the table and flipped them over, but that might be on me. That's really the only complaint I can lodge at the piece because I think it does what it sets out to do wonderfully. There's a few little windows into the characters here that I especially like — way Nasperge reaches into his coat just for show to pull out the Aubedore deck, the way the young centaur lady is fascinated with the angel card, and their not-quite interaction before Nasperge initiated the encounter. There's a wonderful sense of movement here, that lends their conversation a bit of realism even with the economy of words. I like it, and it's an easy Yea.

As others have said, Brentain has been a great addition to the community for a while now, and having them as a full voting M:EMber is a no-brainer.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:57 am 
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Easy "yea" from me -- I'm a big fan!

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:04 pm 
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Thank you all, for the approval and for the kind words!

I had difficulties understanding the spatial relations of the cards as Nasperge set them on the table and flipped them over, but that might be on me.

That... could have been much worse. An earlier version managed to confuse even RavenoftheBlack. A visual representation would be much better, of course:
From Nasperge's point of view

It kind of evolved from a slightly simpler pattern to better match the river metaphor, but even the simple version was hard to describe in prose.

That's really the only complaint I can lodge at the piece because I think it does what it sets out to do wonderfully. There's a few little windows into the characters here that I especially like — way Nasperge reaches into his coat just for show to pull out the Aubedore deck, the way the young centaur lady is fascinated with the angel card, and their not-quite interaction before Nasperge initiated the encounter. There's a wonderful sense of movement here, that lends their conversation a bit of realism even with the economy of words.

Thank you for these comments, in particular. I'm kind of chagrined that I had forgotten about the pocket that his coat doesn't have when I first wrote this, but glad I got to fix it before the vote.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 1:46 pm 
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I meant to say this a couple of days ago, but then didn't.

Congratulations, Brentain! Welcome, officially, to the team!


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