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PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 6:14 pm 
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Well, I suppose this doesn't really come as a surprise to anyone. I've been scarce around here for a long time - lurking, certainly, but scarce. And really, the guilt of it is sort of eating at me (whether the guilt is deserved or fictional, I suppose, is up to you. I've long since learned fictional things have appetites, however.) so here I am, posting. I'd not want to vanish into the internet without a farewell. You all deserve better from me than that - and really, I owe this project that much. Below I will offer explanations and reparations, such as they are, and if this comes off as a bit dramatic (says the writer to his fellows) just know that I would not have it any other way.

Since January of this year, things have been a bit topsy-turvy for me. I may have mentioned in passing that I was moving away from my hometown of Las Vegas. The destination? Scenic Des Moines, Iowa. I had (had) high hopes for that move, and from the get-go it did seem likes things were going to pan out. I gave up a lot to move out there. Found a good (in that it paid well, it was as boring as watching two control players fight over board control) job in finance, made some friends, played some dungeons and dragons. It was a good thing for about three months. Then some stuff happened - nothing tragic, just what basically amounted to a roommate dispute - and I was given an ultimatum to be out of my current residence by no later than August. With nowhere else to live (more specifically, no one else I wanted to live with), I made the choice to uproot myself once more and head back West. Now I'm living in St. George, Utah, about an hour and a half drive from Vegas, and everything has settled down into a quiet sort of routine. The job I found here, while not quite so hoity-toity, pays the bills. I always knew I would end up working with my hands.

So, that's how I shot the first eight months of this year in the foot. It was a learning experience, however, but obviously has not left much room for writing. You all know me well - writing is something I love dearly. It's something - I've been told, and like to believe - that I am good at. And while I enjoy working with my hands and paying the bills, I don't love either of those things as much as I love writing - but of the two latter options, the only thing I HAVE to do is pay the bills. The devil always gets his due, after all, and I'd hate to fall behind on payments to someone so illustrious.

Which leads me to a decision I made sometime in July, as I was halfway through the 15 hour drive that would see me from Iowa to Salt Lake City. A decision, I think, you all can understand the pull and weight of. I decided that I'm going to write a book.

So, if I decided this in July, why am I just now posting? Two reasons. Firstly, there still hasn't been a lot of writing happening on any front, recreational or otherwise. Secondly, I had gotten it into my head that I would send myself off with one last hurrah, right? I wanted to write just ONE more Fisco story. I wanted to tie up Kimberley and Jinsen's most awesome adventure. I wanted to write about what happened to the Liar and Xeran. I wanted to give one last gift to the community that has been giving me so much these last few years. I wanted it, but realistically, with the moving and the job hunting, and then the job training, and the everything else... It just didn't pan out. I waffled for two months, is what I'm saying. And all the while, I just remained silent over here, too afraid to say anything before I was ready, and too tired and guilty to get any writing done.

So, I'm coming clean. This is what's going on. I said before, you deserve more than me vanishing into the net. Really, you deserve more than this half-baked apolexplanation. Explanatiogy? Whatever it is, It's not good enough. But it's what I have.

I'm gonna focus my creative juices (rusty as they are from almost a year of disuse) on my book. I won't be quitting my day job - I was raised smarter than that - and I'm not pursuing this book thing with 100% confidence that its going to make me a lot of money and solve all my problem. I won't be betting on that. It's more the principle of the thing. It's something I've always wanted, and for a long time, it's the only thing I've REALLY wanted. I hope it works, and I think it can - but I've always been cautious. Now I just gotta get to work.

So, that all being said, I want you all to know that the time I've spent working on this project with all of you has been both informative and formative for me. You've all taught me ways of approaching subject and characters that I would never have thought of, and I always had more fun than I though was possible writing for all of you. VITAL comes to mind - and isn't it funny that Pendulum's little non-canon adventure in the amphiseum will be my final work? - as something I enjoyed immensely. I will always look back on this with fondness. To be honest, I'll probably still be lurking. I'd hate to miss any of the Tuesday Night Story Club, after all. ;)

Now, as for my, uh, legacy. Or. Whatever it is. My characters. I've got some unfinished arcs and some unexplained things, and all of you who are still in this project are more than welcome to finish or explain anything you'd like, as it pertains to my characters, stories, planes, and settings. This is mostly just giving you all permission to use my characters and ideas however you'd like. Specifically, however...

I'd like to turn over Fisco Vane into Raven's hands. He's always had a way with Fisco that I liked, and I think that if he does anything with Fisco at all, It'd be just what Fisco needed or deserved. Additionally, because of reasons, he'll probably want Kimberley and Jinsen. Good luck with those two, they're a handful.

Aloise, for obvious reasons (not the least of which is because he writes her so well), I'd like to turn over to OL. This, I think, doesn't need a lot of elaboration. You two are just what this project needs, I think.

Now, this is just passing stewardship over to both of you, so that if other people want to use those characters specifically, they should talk to either of you, respectively. Everyone else is up for grabs. "Public", I think the term is. And pllease, don't feel obligated to write anything for my characters at all! I just wanted to make it clear that it's fine by me if you do, as I have no further plans for them anymore.

Blah. That made me sad. It's tough letting all this go.

If you want to get in contact with me for whatever reason, you can send me a message on here for the next little while. I'll still be looking at those. After a little while, though, you'll want to just email me at ruwinreborn@gmail.com. Easy to remember. I'm not the easiest person in the world to stay in contact with, so apologies in advanced for any unread messages or emails. I'll be reading this thread for a little while but I probably won't post in it again.

Well... There it is. I said everything I wanted to say. Well, except: Thank you, for everything. Through this project, I've grown in way I never would have thought.

Keep on keepin' on.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 6:38 pm 
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I love you, Ruwin.

I completely understand where you are coming from, and I genuinely wish you the best in everything you do, but man, I'm going to miss the hell out of you. I already do.

You were my first collaborator in the M:EM, when we were working on "Deals and Devils" and "How to Trade a Planeswalker." You wrote the first M:EM story I ever read, "Two Bullets and a Pocketful of Hate." I think it was one of your pieces for which I cast my first M:EM vote.

Without you, I wouldn't have Dammerdall, or Donagut, or the Eternal Eclipse. I wouldn't have written "Dead Man 'Walking," which means I wouldn't have written "The Cruel Finale," which means I wouldn't have written The War of the Wheel. And even if I had, The War of the Wheel couldn't have been what it was without Fisco Vane, and Fisco couldn't have been anything without you.

Thank you, Ruwin, for everything you've been to me and to the M:EM.

Thank you for being you.

You are a hell of a writer, and a hell of a person.

I know you want to close this door, and I definitely get that, but just know that you can always knock. And when you get your book written and published, you let me know about it, because I want a first edition of that triumph.

I love you, Ruwin. And I'm going to miss you.

I'd like to turn over Fisco Vane into Raven's hands. He's always had a way with Fisco that I liked, and I think that if he does anything with Fisco at all, It'd be just what Fisco needed or deserved. Additionally, because of reasons, he'll probably want Kimberley and Jinsen. Good luck with those two, they're a handful.

I am genuinely humbled that you would leave all three of them, but especially Fisco, with me. I will endeavor to be worthy of them.

:cry:


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 7:28 pm 
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It's sad to see you go, Ruwin, though I do understand where you're coming from. I'm something of a book-writer myself, though I have always stumbled with the next step after having that solid, refined draft 'in the can' so to speak, and that means I know just how much energy it takes. If you do finish, and find a way to put it in peoples' hands, do let us know! You will ALWAYS be welcome here, whether as a writer or a reader or just peanut gallery in the general. If you ever feel the need for a creative outlet, or just to comment, nobody will hold this or that against you. I wish you the best in the endeavors you go on to. If you ever need to contact me, it's tevish.szat at gmail.

Stay strong.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:14 pm 
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I tend to believe that there's no such thing as goodbyes in creator communities. you've been here a lot longer than I have, and unless I've deeply misread the vibe of this community, you'll always be welcome. take the time you need, even if that time is forever, but if it's not, don't think for a second that saying goodbye means you can't come back.

oh, and good luck with the book. I hope it's a rewarding project, and I hope it turns out great.

:duel:

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:22 pm 
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;_;`\

It's sad to see you go,
But I'd just like you to know
There'll be a place right here for you.
If you feel that's something you'd want to do.

I'm sure we'll miss you while you're gone
And though I hope it won't be long
Know we'll wish you all the best as you go.
That's just something you ought to know.

Keep on striving for the best
Take it all and leave the rest
And if it seems too much to go on,
We believe you'll be strong.

And if somewhere down the road you find
That some old friends may come to mind,
Know that we'll be thinking of you, too.
So just do what you do.

--------

I have absolutely no idea why my first thought was to write a poem. Probably best not to let the tone-deaf rhythm-less white boy write poems, but I hope it still conveys my emotions for the moment. You've been an absolute joy to have around, and I'm sure going to miss you while you're gone. Still, I hope that, maybe 5 or even 10 years down the line, maybe we'll see you back here, and if I still have anything to say about it, you'll always have a place here. Most importantly, though, we hope you do well in life and that you do well with whatever path you choose.

I'll also second Raven's statement that I'm down to buy anything you get published.

Oh, and I'll make sure to send any further dramatic readings involving Fisco or your other work directly to you from now on ;).


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:54 pm 
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Thank you, RuwinReborn, for everything you've shared with us, and we'll always be happy to see more if and when your circumstances change again. Aloise and Fisco are among the first, deepest characters in the Expanded Multiverse, with direct storyline ties to a ridiculous number of other works, and "Fear" remains one of the most fantastic emotional rollercoasters I've read.

And please, let us know where we can buy your book when it's done; meanwhile, I'm just a few hours up the road, and would be happy to help with an editing pass or anything else you need. (I even have a sister who probably still works at a publishing company, though I think they do more cookbooks than novels.)

May life return to you a thousandfold the joy that you've spread here.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 11:21 pm 
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Don't feel you must consider this a goodbye, for we'll always be here even if you just want to stop in.
Our doors are always open and if you're ever feeling lonely, we're here for you.

And on a slightly bitter note, I'm really thankful you stopped in to say everything at least. I hope things work out, I sincerely do, and I hate to see you go, but I'm glad you cared enough to tell us all about it.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 2:24 am 
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I love you works, Ruwin, and just reading the title of this thread made my heart sink like a freakin' anchor. Fisco is one of the best characters I know, and all the writing you posted here is top notch. Fisco and Aloise's storylines are the first two I binge-read when I started lurking here, and those pieces are among the ones I come back to when I just want to read something ridiculously good. So first things first, I'm gonna be a bit self-centered and thank you so much for your writing.

I wish you such an astounding success with your book that we can learn of it from the mainstream news. Should you fall slightly short of that, I hope you'll let some of us know so we can get our hands on it.

Nevertheless, I'm going to echo razorborne: saying goodbye doesn't mean you can't come back. I'm going to read this as your announcement of an indefinite hiatus, and nothing more. I'm fairly certain that we'd all love to hear from you again, be it idle banter or updates on your progress, schedule permitting.

I'd also like to add that I'm iugula.nargas on gmail. I'm more likely to check my PMs here than my mail when I'm active, but should I vanish for a few months like I did earlier this year, feel free to contact me there.

Again, I wish you the best. Have a good life!

N

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 10:40 pm 
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Ruwin, I love you. That's really all I have to say.

I've been trying to think of a better way to say it, to somehow explain what your stories have meant to me, and I can't do it. I don't have the words. Because they mean *a lot.* Without them, there's a very real chance that I'm not writing today.

You're a hell of a writer, Ruwin, and whatever the book is, I want to read it, okay? Don't care what, don't care when, don't care how.

More than that, though, you're a hell of a guy, and -- at the risk of being presumptuous -- I am proud -- *proud* -- to count you among my friends.

Aaaaaand now I have to wrap things up because I'm getting all teary. Yeah, we all knew that was going to happen...

I had to give a speech, once. It was one of the most frightening moments of my life. I'm usually not afraid of public speaking. This was the exception. This one scared me. So I cheated by quoting a passage from a much better speech, which ended with: "And now the word is 'so long,' because in fellowship there is no parting."

Well, now the word is "so long," Ruwin, because in M:EM fellowship there is no parting.

So long. But not goodbye. :)

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2017 2:18 pm 
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Well, I have been pretty scarce around here myself lately (turns out parenthood eats a lot of your free time), but I have to respond to this.

Ruwin, as has been said, you will always be welcome here, and any little ounce of your energy that ends up coming our way will be greatly appreciated. I want to thank you for all the joy you have given me both through your writing and your participation in the community. I especially want to thank you for writing Search and You Shall Find with me. I wanted to ask, if I ever manage to get myself writing again, do I have your permission to continue that storyline? I still have the notes you sent me about where you wanted it to go, and if I could help bring even a part of your vision into reality, it would be an honor. Of course, at my current rate of output it is more likely that you write several novels, top the bestsellers list, become rich and famous, and then become disillusioned with the fame and decide to get back to your anonymous roots before I get it done. In which case you can do it yourself.

But in all seriousness, go write your novel. If it is even half as gripping as Two Bullets and a Pocketful of Hate any publisher in the world should be lucky to sign you. Just let us know how it goes, OK? And do feel free to keep lurking. After all, that's what I do.

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