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 Post subject: The world of - Picaeru
PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 2:33 am 
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Notes not relevant to story


Progress


Welcome to the world of Picaeru! This is a fairly complicated world, and one of enormous size! It, like Shandalar, is enveloped in a field which protects the world against planeswalkers, and is connected between a network of other planes through portals and ancient technologies.

This world is massive, with a transportation system enabling travel between any point on this world given the proper "motivation", so to speak. Planeswalkers here can, with enough focus and energy, planeswalk to a different place in the plane entirely. However, that focus can be broken easily, and disrupted by the natives of the plane.

Its massive amount of energy is only offset by the sheer difficulty of commanding it. It's normally easier to deny someone from commanding this energy than it is to actually do so. Several incidents of usage of magical energy have been discovered, but thanks to the phenomena of this plane, they are normally suppressed. Any actual usage of magic is usually done through highly trained personnel, and with the permission of several organizations, and are only studied for the sake of science.

Planeswalkers, thanks to their spark, would easily command this energy but would also be very huge targets on this world. Attempting to use magic here would create potentially dangerous phenomena and cause a lot of energy to be released, and it takes five minutes to cast even the fastest of spells. Even though a rogue 'walker is dangerous to deal with for the natives, most of the time those planeswalkers are outnumbered, and it takes only three people to deal with one of them, assuming they're all novices. Experts however need to have at least a partner to stop a planeswalker. Any planeswalker that actually been here and survived knows how visible they are and how vulnerable everyone could actually make them be, so they avoid causing trouble and play nice.

Are you one of those people? Well, if you want to start beating some heads or playing with your toys, you need to know a little more about your potential enemies. There's a lot of organizations with conflicting interests and potentially dangerous intent. The influence of the colors of mana aren't completely alien to these civilizations, but most of the time you are going to need to use the physical world to get around.

-Advectix Union
Spoiler

-Ferhos Republic
Spoiler

-Merlito Armada
Spoiler

-Hydrexis Library
Spoiler

-Decetra Federation
Spoiler

-Zaevola Commonwealth
Spoiler

-Prunvi Territories
Spoiler

-Glaxori Fractal
Spoiler

-Casirum Populists
Spoiler

-Kophyll Oligarchy
Spoiler

...There's more to come!


Last edited by preadatordetector on Tue Dec 05, 2017 10:06 am, edited 62 times in total.

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 Post subject: The Advectix Union
PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 1:09 pm 
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The

Advectix Union

The Advectix Union are a group of monks that have numerous, strict laws to ensure peaceful behavior and ensure they don't self-destruct. They also have numerous traditions that are steeped into their country, for the purpose of ensuring that their knowledge continues on to the next generation and their knowledge bank increases.

They have a tradition where every year, during the winter months, they send out their most promising youth to traverse the dense jungle on their borders, and are expected to write a full report about the wildlife in their territory. Those that discover something entirely new become part of the ruling class, those that provide enough research to create something new become part of the upper classes, and those that repeat what they learned in their schools become teachers. Once they have found a place this way, there's a very slow and tedious process to rise upwards.

Kitsune Outcast
Creature - Fox Nomad
Deathtouch, lifelink, vigilance
2/3
Sometimes Advectix traditions go very wrong, leaving children unable to find their way home and causing them to become feral, with all the paranoia and insomnia that follows. These children, being specialized in poisons, are responsible for many deaths in the jungle, and to top it all off they often practice cannibalism.


The ruling class of the Advectix can easily be split into three different categories based on behavior, thanks to the extremely traumatic experiences they went through as children. The first category are those that do whatever they can to uphold the traditions of the Advectix, and are often found from youth that highly respected the traditions of the Union, using the libel laws to safeguard the traditions of the Advectix. They wield green and white mana really effectively. The next category are those that do whatever they can to advance Advectix science, and are often found from youth that are already insane, or at least legitimately interested in research. They wield green and blue magic really effectively. Finally there are those that are paranoid as hell, thanks to the experience they had in the wilderness. This obviously comes out of neurotypical youth that don't believe in the traditions of the Advectix or are interested in research. They wield white and blue magic and are the most common prosecutors for libel charges in the Union.

Most of the time the Advectix ruling class figured out a way to use their training in entirely different ways, which then get put into a solutions archive containing many escapades that they went through. The book is kept secret from outsiders, because people that know of the book fear that it would be used as evidence to destroy the Advectix and all of their information. However, legitimate discoveries are found too, such as discovering a murder victim in the jungle, recovering a lost student, finding a criminal hideout, and something truly new, such as a new specimen of plant or fungi.

Advectix Cyan
Creature - Fox Monk
Hexproof, reach, vigilance
3/4
Cyan is the most powerful color to wear in Advectix, and is reserved for the most highly regarded masters of self defense, mediation, and acrobatics.


The Advectix are split into several different castes. The largest group are the monks, filling numerous levels in the hierarchy of the Union. The lowest caste of monks are those that didn't show promise in youth but climbed upwards. This is usually the highest level common people can aspire to without using other, less legal ways of achieving power. This caste is usually used as police or military muscle, enforcing the strict and domineering code of the Advectix, or protect their region from attacks outside. The second lowest caste are the teachers, which are the lowest starting caste that the promising youth of Advectix could get. Advectix knowledge is enormous and the teachers' job is to make the time it takes to master these techniques small enough so that everyone, by the time they reach adulthood, would have a proper grasp over this information. It is thankless work.

The upper castes of the Advectix are filled with very different forms of work, but most of them are research focused. However, there are a few upper castes that aren't so, like military commanders, healers, and emergency rescue workers. The significance of the emergency rescue workers is only understood when one realizes that these people traverse the very jungles that the Advectix send their children to, so they are going to be compensated and have to already know the jungle like the back of their hand.

Those that are outside the caste system are usually laborers, and taxed very heavily to continue this tradition and ensure the castes could do their jobs. Ruling class Advectix, fearing their job security and the security of the state especially, stick to low wages and use the tax money to pay its government units, create infrastructure, and advance research.

Hushwind Soldier :2::w::u:
Creature - Fox Soldier
Vigilance, Hexproof
Creatures dealt damage by ~ don't untap during their controllers' next untap steps.
3/7


The Advectix use several different kinds of magic to defend themselves. They are only incapable of manipulating dark, fire, and earth magic, and are proficient in wind magic. As said before, most people have a lot of difficulty in manipulating this phenomena, so this magic is usually used by commanders, generals, and the ruling class, however exceptions are often made, as there does exist several teachers that do know how to use this magic too, but lack the fortune required to reach an upper caste.

Relationships with the Union are extremely sour, and the Decetra, Zaevola, and Prunvi especially hate them. The Advectix's practices are a huge damper on trade and make trading really hard, which hurts everyone, and their practice of sending children to the jungle for the purpose of using them as research grunts really anger the Prunvi, Glaxori, and even the Casirum, which normally have a cordial relationship with the Advectix. Their worst enemies believe that their entire institution is immoral and cancerous, and their friendliest partners view them as a really bad annoyance that is only made up with by how useful they are.


Last edited by preadatordetector on Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:35 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 5:17 pm 
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Wat?

You lost me at this line.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 5:57 pm 
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Wat?

You lost me at this line.

Spoiler


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 Post subject: The Ferhos Republic
PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 6:29 pm 
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The

Ferhos Republic

The Ferhos Republic are infamous for their highly polluting practices in this world. They started their power believing that the world is an endless bounty waiting to be used for the benefit of society, and as a democratic country that inspired many to join forces with them. However, due to not having a proper economic system and not caring about the environment surrounding them, the Ferhos would have been killed if not for the amount of technology they possess today. They however are very big enemies of the Hydrexis because of their exploitative behavior to their own territory and especially others', which makes the Hydrexis lose a lot of research material.

The Ferhos Republic was created during an industrial revolution in the former Kophyll Empire. Unlike the Zaevola, the Kophyll's imperial system collapsed entirely, with the Kophyll Oligarchy regaining power in its native territory afterwards. The Ferhos were created in thanks to the Kophyll's social darwinism and the Mittarn empire's sabotage of Kophyll strength. The Ferhos therefore held the Mittarn and in that extent the Zaevola in high regard thanks to their activities in freeing them from Kophyll tyranny.

Static Ward :w:
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature.
Enchanted creature has prowess.
:w:, discard a card: enchanted creature gains first strike this turn.


However, the leadership of the Ferhos Republic was seen as unstable during its development, and its predecessors' culture, even with their complete hatred of it, never went away. The Ferhos had ended up, thanks to the religious influence of the Kophyll, destroying numerous cultures on their territory, pursuing a false ideal that turned out to be similar to world domination. They now believe that it is the destiny of all sentient life to conquer the horizon and create a new order, dedicated to the willpower of the colonists. However, they didn't create the plan to achieve this objective themselves.

Other countries, inspired from their liberation from the Kophyll, have revolted against their former leadership and created democratic systems of their own, and sometimes even merged together. These nations, the Decetra and the Glaxori, have decided to ally with the Ferhos, but didn't merge due to ideological disagreements the two other nations had with each other. The Ferhos is one of the founding countries of the Fraywill Philosophers. Inside the Fraywill Philosophers, the Ferhos were able to instill democratic practices thanks to their allies, persuading every major power except the Kophyll's native territory to follow their example. But thanks to the Kophyll, the alliance was fated to meet disaster. The Ferhos's way of achieving power leaves a swath of destruction in its tail, which made a lot of groups despise the Ferhos's activities.

Noise Pollution
Enchantment
Whenever noncombat damage is dealt, tap target untapped creature you don't control. If you can't, tap target land.
That permanent doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
The Ferhos create a lot of noise. Thanks to the cavernous structure of its borders, Zaevola guards can hear the racket when they are sent to inspect Ferhos imports.


Meanwhile, in order to attain a better society, the Ferhos engaged in an industrial overhaul of all the resources they have, and mined their country to the ground looking for metals and chemicals to create machines for their government. Jobs in dirty industry became commonplace and the politicians in the region campaigned to create more of these jobs to benefit everyone within their own society. However, this created dramatic amounts of pollution that made other regions suffered. The Ferhos also imposed tariffs so that other regions don't outcompete its workers for its own consumers. This misbehavior angered the Hydrexis, which filed a complaint to the Ferhos's earliest allies: the Decetra and the Glaxori. Since the two factions relied on the Hydrexis to avoid disasters, they had to pay large sums because of Ferhos incompetence.

The Fraywill Philosophers eventually became a fragment of its former self, and all that remains of the organization are old dusty books in the founders' countries. The Fraywill Philosophers are often used as an argument by the Kophyll against democratic practices, and the Ferhos the prime reason why it failed. Most other nations took this as rumor-mongering, but the member states took this very big security leak seriously. This subsequently caused the Glaxori and the Decetra to hold an espionage and surveillance mission against the Ferhos, with the explicit purpose of blackmailing the Ferhos into behaving.

Electrolyte Leak
Instant
Up to two target lands don't untap during their controller's next untap step.
If 3 or more noncombat damage was dealt this turn, draw a card.
The Glaxori threatened to use military force against the Ferhos if they don't use biodegradable materials for their electrolyes.
They said they do, but not in every machine they make of course.
The Glaxori responded to this sarcastic response by instigating a famine for a year.


Because of this, the Ferhos hold many philanthropy missions to ensure that they won't go to war with their former allies. They helped out the Casirum with getting rights against the Zaevola, but that obviously backfired. The Ferhos subsequently paid a large sum to the Zaevola in the form of gadgets and tools. They operate factories on a loss to appease the Advectix with gadgetry and pigments. The Ferhos agreed to not cause problems in the sea for merchant ships and traders, but still pollute the place with magenta sludge. Their relationship with the Prunvi, Hydrexis and Kophyll never improved. In fact, their relationship with the Prunvi gotten worse.

The Ferhos have power in multiple fields. However, their knowledge in biology, geology, and in the water cycle is glaringly ignorant, and they don't see any value in understanding this phenomena. This is surprising considering that they use up a lot of metal, and have mined their territory into worthless grit. The Prunvi see the Ferhos as a wasteful civilization that is doomed to self-destruct, and view them with extreme disdain. They refuse to sell food to the Ferhos too considering the high tariffs applied to their product.


Last edited by preadatordetector on Tue Oct 10, 2017 10:30 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 1:07 pm 
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The

Merlito Armada

The Merlito Armada is a large naval force that is dedicated to ensuring fair trade over the seas. They pay their forces well to ensure that trade remains uninterrupted, and employ both espionage and military might in order to protect the waters. Their primary focus is on stable trade, and unfortunately this makes them split a few hairs with the Glaxori because the latter pays a fortune in order to do any kind of research.

The Merlito Armada was founded after a long sting of piracy and criminal activities, and was supported by numerous countries, which by now are all either dead, and taken over by Glaxori, or swallowed by the Armada's own authority after the merchants took them over. This is a thorn in the side for both the Glaxori and the Armada, which caused a lot of diplomatic stress. One of the few organizations that split from them entirely and didn't join another power is the Lunaeris Bloc, which held a lot of power in the sea but wanted to focus more on stabilizing trade than appeasing the other nations.

Merlito Captain
Creature - Human Knight
Double strike, lifelink
2/2
"The old age of piracy is long gone. But their legacy, the Armada, remains."


The Armada has several hierarchies. The member country that has the most military power has their leadership be the commander-in-chief of the rest of the organization. The member country that has the most diplomatic skill has their leadership be the head of state. Finally, the member country that funds the most in research is put into the head of that division. Thanks to the "suggestions" of the Fraywill Philosophers, a shadowy organization that has very secretive membership, the Armada's member states practice democracy. And, thanks to a bright idea of one of the member states, the Armada practices democracy itself... to figure out who has the most diplomatic competence to be head of state.

Because there is barely any civilian control over the military, the Armada created several rules in order to avoid actions that would cause member states to leave. The commander-in-chief cannot attack anything that isn't approved by either the head of state or the member states of the Armada. To make action occur quickly, the commander-in-chief asks the head of state for advice first, then if they don't like the advice, they go to the member states and ask for a vote on it. Also, the head of state can lose their job if the member states vote to have another election. Finally, member states are to vote on how the Armada's shared budget would be applied.

Strangle
Instant
Choose one -
  • Destroy target tapped creature.
  • Tap target creature and put a -1/-1 counter on it.
  • Return target enchantment card from your graveyard to your hand.
The Armada's assassins are trained to kill using a simple sheet of cloth, because sometimes, that's all they are going to have.


However, the head of research is completely exempt from any limitations by the other member states. This is so that the Armada doesn't have to deal with unnecessary dialogue that would normally end up the same way: do research, within the limitations of the shared budget and whatever member states want to contribute. However, member states can ask the head of research to develop a specific product and submit a sum of money to get that project started. Multiple member states can ask for one project this way. The head of research therefore would be obligated to meet this need set out by the member states, and if they don't meet that need, they are obligated to return the money. To counter the head of research from being completely exhausted, they may choose to reject a bid until a project's financial, qualitative, and scope constraints become reasonable to the rest of the member states.

The member states, however, define "reasonable" as "profitable" most of the time. This leads to the fields of environmental science lacking, especially geology, because most of their territories are in water. They also don't have a lot of cold regions, and have no influence in the poles, so their knowledge about how to survive in them is usually "grab a sweater". Their bases don't have searchlights either, relying on the water to defend them from invaders, and their bases are usually littered with mines. There was also this other scandal where the Merlito invested research money into fashion! This not only angered the Glaxori but also the Prunvi, because they both see that money as wasted compared to using it on the environmental sciences that they clearly are ignorant to. But to be fair, they did make some beautiful swimsuits.

Backup Plan
Enchantment
Whenever a creature you control dies, you may discard a card. If you do, return target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.
When the Armada's source of food and tools go to war with each other, they relied on the Advectix to ensure they don't starve. Tools are reusable after all.


The Armada has a very good relationship with the Ferhos, because the Ferhos provided them with tools that enable them to defend themselves, such as radar, weapons, and ships. They also needed food and medical supplies, and unfortunately, due to their inability to access the Prunvi, they usually get their medicines from the Hydrexis and food from the Kophyll. Due to their critical relationship with both the Ferhos and the Kophyll, they are neutral to the frustrations of both parties. When either of them have conflicts, they purchase their food from the Advectix and try to mediate the conflict so that a more peaceful situation can return, where the Armada could survive again.

Surprisingly enough, even after democratization, their relationship with the Glaxori is barely better than before. The Casirum are considered a big enemy to the Merlito, as they are essentially wandering thugs that damage research and trade. Then, there's this very interesting relationship they have with the Prunvi. They don't like each other because that the Prunvi tended to support the Glaxori's cause, and the Prunvi hated the Merlito because of a former member state's discrimination towards their country. Because of this, they have a hostile relationship. Other than that, everyone else tended to support them in some way, because they are a positive contribution towards safe trade between the regions of Picaeru, and for that they are highly valued.


Last edited by preadatordetector on Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2017 10:25 pm 
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Holy moly, there's a lot to see, here!

I am *SO NOT* an authority when it comes to planes, but I'm really excited to see how this all comes together!

_________________
"And remember, I'm pullin' for ya, 'cause we're all in this together." - Red Green


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 4:39 am 
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As good ol' OL said, there's a lot to see here. As another poor soul that condemned itself to create an Earth-sized plane, I'm quite interested in this. I apologize if I seem confrontational in my next paragraphs, I just want to get a good grasp of your idea.

I'll start by assuming you want to eventually add this dossier to the Archives, and to make it Public following the default rules.

Let's begin with the opening lines, where one should showcase the selling point of their creation:

Quote:
Welcome to the world of Picaeru! This is a fairly complicated world, and one of enormous size! It, like Shandalar, is enveloped in a field which protects the world against planeswalkers, and is connected between a network of other planes through portals and ancient technologies.

Anti-planeswalker fields and plane networkings are both potential plot points and quite rare traits in the M:EM planes: off the top of my mind I can only name Jakkard as a plane with 'walking limitations barring Eristi's ban, and I can't recall planes properly networked to each other, except maybe Aliavelli with its (very difficult to access) door to the Room Choke-Full of Mirrors. I hope you're going to expand on this in a future moment: in my opinion understanding how a plane works is more important than getting to know everything about the factions in play.

The planar network, in particular, cranks the intrigue/conflicts complexity up to eleven: if multiple planes can be involved in Picaeru's problems on a regular basis, you can hardly write a story without keeping in mind a staggering number of factions.

But this doesn't answer the fated question: what is the "selling point" of the plane? Is it the intrigue? A unique, pervasive mood? New intriguing perspectives? The chance to explore old themes in new ways?

Quote:
This world is massive, with the transportation system enabling travel between any point on this world given the proper "motivation", so to speak.

If you're hinting at something with those inverted commas, I'm tragically missing the point. I'd say you're speaking about money, but in a 'verse where people can magically travel through sheer willpower the allusion isn't exactly obvious. (I'm also not that sharp, so it may be a personal problem of mine)
Is the widespread transportation system justifying a Ravnica-style geography, where the relative positions of significant landmarks can be thrown under a bus? Not necessarily a bad thing, but in that case writing a quick note to that effect would be nice.

Quote:
Its massive amount of energy is only offset by the sheer difficulty of commanding it, but at the same time it's normally easier to deny someone from commanding this energy than it is to actually try, which made several civilizations have access to this level of control.

What level of control? You say that's easier to subvert someone's control over energy than to harness some of your own, so I'd assume the default control level is zero, barring extensive and aggressively enforced treaties.

Quote:
Planeswalkers, naturally, would easily command this energy but would also be very huge targets on this world.

"Naturally"? Why would 'walkers have advantage over the natives? Are the native beings magically stunted relatively to the Multiverse average? Is it tied with the nature of the planar network? This also means that 'walking is somewhat limited, but not impossible, unless the only access points are the portal from the other planes. Again, explaining the main traits of the barrier will be important.

Quote:
Anyone that actually been here and survived knows how visible they are and how vulnerable everyone could actually make them be, so they avoid causing trouble.

Why would planeswalkers be more visible? Is this part of the anti-'walker field? Because the M:EM has a few characters (two in particular come to mind) that are specialized in taking control of the keystones of both the political and magical power of the planes before anyone can really take notice.

I imagine you already know the answer of many of my questions; I'm merely pointing out the elements that, in my opinion, need to be expanded on in order to have a more organic understanding of the plane.

(is Paper Trail set in Picaeru? I'm sorry I still have to read that, hopefully I'll be able to catch up soon)

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 12:19 am 
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Hm... I really focused more on the factions than the actual nature of the plane, and I think the selling point is going to be focused on how the natives interconnect together. This has a very, very unfortunate side effect where the plane isn't... fleshed out properly.

Sorry about the inconsistency of the story in advance. :nonono::face:

I'm going to give myself some time to flesh out the other factions soon, but yeah, the very beginning isn't a great picture. It's more like a messy piece of crap that is drawn by a twelve-year-old. So, I'll do some business and try to fix this garbage with the help of proofreading. :coffee:

As good ol' OL said, there's a lot to see here. As another poor soul that condemned itself to create an Earth-sized plane, I'm quite interested in this. I apologize if I seem confrontational in my next paragraphs, I just want to get a good grasp of your idea.

Friend request sent.

Quote:
I'll start by assuming you want to eventually add this dossier to the Archives, and to make it Public following the default rules.

Let's begin with the opening lines, where one should showcase the selling point of their creation:

Quote:
Welcome to the world of Picaeru! This is a fairly complicated world, and one of enormous size! It, like Shandalar, is enveloped in a field which protects the world against planeswalkers, and is connected between a network of other planes through portals and ancient technologies.

Anti-planeswalker fields and plane networkings are both potential plot points and quite rare traits in the M:EM planes: off the top of my mind I can only name Jakkard as a plane with 'walking limitations barring Eristi's ban, and I can't recall planes properly networked to each other, except maybe Aliavelli with its (very difficult to access) door to the Room Choke-Full of Mirrors. I hope you're going to expand on this in a future moment: in my opinion understanding how a plane works is more important than getting to know everything about the factions in play.

The planar network, in particular, cranks the intrigue/conflicts complexity up to eleven: if multiple planes can be involved in Picaeru's problems on a regular basis, you can hardly write a story without keeping in mind a staggering number of factions.

But this doesn't answer the fated question: what is the "selling point" of the plane? Is it the intrigue? A unique, pervasive mood? New intriguing perspectives? The chance to explore old themes in new ways?

Yeah, the point of this plane is that the world is like, several layers of enormity. I need to fix Hokia because I plan on the two planes coexisting in their "shard". (Shard of the twelve worlds 2.0) That plane needs a serious fix (it's supposed to be a plane, with a S.H.I.E.L.D-style organization, that is aware of 'walkers and see that phenomena as untapped technology - yay a summary) and also has its share of game-of-thrones style appeal.

I think the selling point of Picaeru is that it's a mass of intrigue, espionage, diplomacy and conflict between numerous powers, where the good guys make everyone's lives easier and the bad guys are destructive or old powers. The colors of mana affect the factions' alliances, conflicts, and abilities, but there would be chaotic characters in :w: and lawful characters in :r:, for very interesting reasons. Red's philosophy here is "power must have price", while white's philosophy is "peace only comes from strong leadership". Proponents of democracy against proponents of security. But that's supposed to come later...

Quote:
Quote:
This world is massive, with the transportation system enabling travel between any point on this world given the proper "motivation", so to speak.

If you're hinting at something with those inverted commas, I'm tragically missing the point. I'd say you're speaking about money, but in a 'verse where people can magically travel through sheer willpower the allusion isn't exactly obvious. (I'm also not that sharp, so it may be a personal problem of mine)
Is the widespread transportation system justifying a Ravnica-style geography, where the relative positions of significant landmarks can be thrown under a bus? Not necessarily a bad thing, but in that case writing a quick note to that effect would be nice.

-Obviously not money.
-It's supposed to be an allusion towards the Planeswalker Spark. The average person's ability to use magical energy is stunted on this plane. Even the Jund and Temur factions rely mostly on technology, plane-bound science, and tools to do anything compared to magic. Planeswalkers are extremely dangerous entities for the natives to deal with. However, the network of transportation has a few fixed points where travel between those points is possible for anyone, and usually is indicated by the presence of an appropriate landmark.
-This world actually won't have Ravnica-style geography. It's not a city world, nor a water world.

Quote:
Quote:
Its massive amount of energy is only offset by the sheer difficulty of commanding it, but at the same time it's normally easier to deny someone from commanding this energy than it is to actually try, which made several civilizations have access to this level of control.

What level of control? You say that's easier to subvert someone's control over energy than to harness some of your own, so I'd assume the default control level is zero, barring extensive and aggressively enforced treaties.

Sorry. Made a mistake. I don't have a way to say this properly...
Quote:
Its massive amount of energy is only offset by the sheer difficulty of commanding it. It's normally easier to deny someone from commanding this energy than it is to actually do so. Several incidents of usage of magical energy have been discovered, but thanks to the phenomena of this plane, they are normally suppressed. Any actual usage of magic is usually done through the most powerful, and with the permission of several organizations, and are only studied for the sake of science.


Quote:
Huey Nomure[/url]"]
Quote:
Planeswalkers, naturally, would easily command this energy but would also be very huge targets on this world.

"Naturally"? Why would 'walkers have advantage over the natives? Are the native beings magically stunted relatively to the Multiverse average? Is it tied with the nature of the planar network? This also means that 'walking is somewhat limited, but not impossible, unless the only access points are the portal from the other planes. Again, explaining the main traits of the barrier will be important.

-Picaeru and Hokia natives are magically stunted compared to the rest of the Multiverse. Anyone in the "shard" are going to be this way.
-Magic usage is usually very visible.
-The Planeswalker Spark can enable magic usage in the plane very easily, but using it recklessly leads to problems. Compared to Hokia, Picaeru's "problems" are relatively tame but no less spectacular.
-Magic usage is counterable, but to deal with a 'walker it would take about three people to counter a spell.
-Hokia is the deepest part of the "shard", and has a very graphic reason why natives are magically stunted. However, I think I would have to address the nature of the barrier itself.

Quote:
Quote:
Anyone that actually been here and survived knows how visible they are and how vulnerable everyone could actually make them be, so they avoid causing trouble.

Why would planeswalkers be more visible? Is this part of the anti-'walker field? Because the M:EM has a few characters (two in particular come to mind) that are specialized in taking control of the keystones of both the political and magical power of the planes before anyone can really take notice.

I imagine you already know the answer of many of my questions; I'm merely pointing out the elements that, in my opinion, need to be expanded on in order to have a more organic understanding of the plane.

(is Paper Trail set in Picaeru? I'm sorry I still have to read that, hopefully I'll be able to catch up soon)

Paper Trail is broken to bits at the moment. I was gambling on Ral Zarek's story only to be cut down in HOU. The Softleaf ninja concept is also inferior to the Hydrexis for me, but I think I can incorporate the two factions together, and make the Softleaf a division of the Library's operations.

If you want to see my to-do list...
Spoiler


I criticize other stories for inconsistency and incompetent characters so I really need to step up my game.
Thanks for being a great help! I needed an editor.


Last edited by preadatordetector on Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:42 am 
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It's more like a messy piece of crap that is drawn by a twelve-year-old. So, I'll do some business and try to fix this garbage with the help of proofreading. :coffee:

There's no need to be so hard on yourself! As you say, a plane where intrigue and faction conflict are the most relevant traits can't be seen in its best light when still in construction.

Quote:
Yeah, the point of this plane is that the world is like, several layers of enormity. I need to fix Hokia because I plan on the two planes coexisting in their "shard". (Shard of the twelve worlds 2.0) That plane needs a serious fix (it's supposed to be a plane, with a S.H.I.E.L.D-style organization, that is aware of 'walkers and see that phenomena as untapped technology - yay a summary) and also has its share of game-of-thrones style appeal.

Sounds cool! While usually 'walkers are used to wander without fear of being recognized as such, I find that idea a refreshing change.

Quote:
This world is massive, with the transportation system enabling travel between any point on this world given the proper "motivation", so to speak.

Quote:
-It's supposed to be an allusion towards the Planeswalker Spark.

So 'walkers are naturally able to teleport within the plane using their Spark? Am I mistaken, or is this trait not that common in ordinary planes? When put it like that, it seems to me that the plane is a natural playground for 'walkers, and maybe someone decided to build a barrier to keep most reckless trespassers out. Maybe the "SHIELD"?

Quote:
Its massive amount of energy is only offset by the sheer difficulty of commanding it. It's normally easier to deny someone from commanding this energy than it is to actually do so. Several incidents of usage of magical energy have been discovered, but thanks to the phenomena of this plane, they are normally suppressed. Any actual usage of magic is usually done through the most powerful, and with the permission of several organizations, and are only studied for the sake of science.

Just to be clear, this means that stopping (native) mad magical scientists is relatively easy, as one would only have to disturb the channeling of the rich mana to make the aspirant magician lose their spells to mana turbulence, as I read it.

Quote:
-Picaeru and Hokia natives are magically stunted compared to the rest of the Multiverse. Anyone in the "shard" are going to be this way.

Is there a reason for this? Evolution would suggest that magically-inclined people would gradually adapt to the wild, powerful mana of the plane... unless they were already used to have significantly thinner, tamer mana: when something deeply changed the nature of the native mana, they ended up overwhelmed like deep sea creatures forced into direct sunlight. If the planar barrier is artificial, it may have influenced the flow of mana on the plane.

Quote:
-Magic usage is usually very visible.

As it's been pointed out to me a few times, magic is rarely visible (except in its direct effects) to non-mages, so this sounds like a peculiar trait of the plane. It could be a byproduct of the native mana's potency: it has so much raw power that only very precise mages are able to wield it without producing very flashy side effects.

Quote:
However, I think I would have to address the nature of the barrier itself.

Well, yes; I have made a few hypothesis about it, but without your vision I may have ended completely off the mark.

Quote:
-Possibly keep the other planeswalker around. Not like Wizards would do anything with someone that has dark skin and a vagina -I mean- It's not like Wizards would do anything with a non-Gatewatch character amiright? No seriously I want some more boobies in my life pl0x.

:lol:

Quote:
-Remove Ral Zarek from the story.
-Possibly keep the other planeswalker around. Not like Wizards would do anything with someone that has dark skin and a vagina -I mean- It's not like Wizards would do anything with a non-Gatewatch character amiright? No seriously I want some more boobies in my life pl0x.
-For the fanfic, I hope they don't do anything with Domri.

Just so you know, if you think to add that story to the Archives you'll want to remove most direct references to canon 'walkers, let alone outright appearances. For reference, my first character (Sharaka) wielded ghostfire in the first versions of her dossier, and I've been advised to remove it because it had ties with Ugin and the relative chronomess. (not that I'm complaining, banefire is awesome and makes more sense from a lore standpoint)

In my opinion this is your chance to create your own dark-skinned, vagina-equipped character :D

Quote:
The Hokia-Picaeru shard (by the way not the only worlds in that multiverse) is supposed to be a melding between Stargate, Half-Life, (Hokia) and Star Wars (Picaeru) aesthetics

That's another thing that would help if included in the plane introduction; the mention of aesthetics helps build the mental picture.

Quote:
Delete the original thread for Hokia, and replace it with a new one, with a full story documenting the experience of the pre-Mending 'walker (and her dissectors) before her death.

(idea) if the barrier was the product of another pre-Mending 'walker, or a powerful artifact from that era, maybe 'walkers forcing their way through the barrier (like very unexperienced ones in their first travels) would be somehow marked with the barrier's magic, an enchantment that strongly interferes with any form of magic. This may be an acceptable answer for a godlike pre-Mending 'walker to be captured and killed by natives, though I'd wait for Barinellos to weigh in. If you want to open the plane(s) in the future, the barrier may lose part of its power after the Mending, even to the point where it can only act as a warning by producing flashy auroras (or more dramatic effects) where someone 'walks in.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:12 pm 
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The

Hydrexis Library

The Hydrexis Library is a research institution that does something very useful for other countries. They are committed to research and development of numerous products and in researching new medicines. Their operations saved many of these countries from extinction. They sell a lot of their products and patents so that their work can remain sustainable, and they also dedicate a lot of their time in understanding the natural world.

The Library refers to the main infrastructure of the Hydrexis: A large, underwater base loaded with exabytes of information. The Hydrexis have large tidal power generators that ensure the Library doesn't fall into disrepair, and have massive recycling centers to ensure that they don't run out of resources or pollute the surrounding oceans. However, the amount of distance they have against other territories doesn't matter at all, as the Ferhos's garbage stream constantly goes through their plants, forcing them to be repaired despite all these precautions.

Riverside Academy :g::u:
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant land
Enchanted land has ":t:, pay :x:, X being equal to the number of erosion counters on ~: draw a card and add a charge counter onto ~."


The Hydrexis provide a wide range of services to other civilizations. They have a massive seed bank and have ensured food security for many nations. They also have provided services in preservation and restoration, which solidified their relationship with the Prunvi. They even collaborated with numerous states in research projects. They run industries such as medicine, information technology, agriculture, aquaculture, education, and even mundane things like plumbing and selling liquor. They have very, very good relationships with most nations. The Hydrexis Library don't lay claim to any nation, but in truth their influence could give them a stranglehold over many countries. They don't do this though, since it would be a waste of money and impede research.

The Hydrexis commit funding towards numerous organizations under extremely different names, each committed towards a cause that the Hydrexis see as beneficial towards civilization as a whole. They don't have publicly traded shares, and instead use bonds to get temporary funding in case things go downhill. One of the most prominent organizations that they support is the Softleaf, which dedicated their time towards preserving cultures that are under threat of being overwhelmed, and exchanged knowledge and information with the founders of the Hydrexis before the organization existed.

Softleaf Watchdog :g:
Creature - Snake Ninja
~ gets +1/+1 as long as there are 4 or more cards in your hand.
1/2


The Hydrexis have a very prominent fishing industry, which creates a lot of money that can go towards research. In fact, it was built on top of this industry, where a group of young fisherman, after having their ship's supplies get destroyed because of a typhoon, was able to reach safety thanks to sharp wits and the philanthropy of a group of ninja, which found them beaten and thin. They taken the sailors in, and the sailors helped around the village to repay their debt. Eventually, they were entranced with the ninjas' abilities and wanted to learn their ways.

By the time they were able to come back, however, their homes were destroyed, thanks to an anti-intellectualist bent in the governing party and a large university at the heart of their city. The fishermen do not have minds for vengeance however, but many did get upset about what happened to their families. Most of their children were attending higher education and therefore were likely killed through the crossfire. But, knowing their rulers, they wanted to change the status quo from this scary situation. They found many sympathizers, especially scholars, and employed their skills as laborers, ninja, and scholars to create this change.

Hydrexis Historian :gu::gu:
Creature - Snake Monk
When ~ attacks or blocks, an opponent may pay :1:. If they don't, scry X, where X is the number of card types in your graveyard.
2/3


The fishermen decided to create a business, based on their previous jobs, and decided to create a school to repair the brain drain that came to their native country, and to put a nail in the coffin of anti-intellectualism in their country. They used the money they earned as fishermen to create a school, which encouraged research and was ephemeral enough to avoid government scrutiny. Their strategies and cunning eventually made them major politicians, overthrowing the old royalty that has an extreme belief in birthright, and was considered "depraved" even by the Kophyll, albeit that was for the royalty's history of scandals and amoral exterior. Eventually, the entire nation identified themselves with science and the pursuit of knowledge, as their former rulers were corrupt and taxed everyone to death.

The Hydrexis are ideologically opposed by the Zaevola, which suspect them of espionage, the Ferhos, which the Hydrexis are infuriated over their wasteful activities, and the Casirum, which hate the Hydrexis's research and economic activities. However, everyone else loves the Hydrexis despite their intimidating exterior. The amount that is paid towards the Hydrexis is usually more than made up for with how consistent their results are, how powerful their technology is, and how much better off their customers are.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 12:04 am 
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The

Decetra Federation

The Decetra Federation is a secular nation. It has one of the largest standing military forces among all the other nations. They historically are fiscally conservative, but they are the most socially liberal and rational groups on the planet. They have good economic terms with most nations that actually have a good economy. The only exception? The Kophyll Oligarchy.

They have very, very lax immigration laws, and often provided sanctuary for political prisoners. Most of the citizens prioritized freedom over security, which is reflected in the Decetra's policy. The citizens also have very little belief in national identity, obedience, marriage, and religion. In fact, a lot of Decetra's intellectual property are gritty franchises that show off their country as a hell-hole, with people beating up the unemployed for cash, sexual assault, and people dying of diseases. This carries some level of truth however considering that the Decetra's citizens historically voted against having a stronger welfare system, which causes these problems to manifest.

Post-traumatic Stress
Enchantment
Whenever a creature is dealt damage, put two trauma counters onto that creature.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player has two creatures with five or more trauma counters on them fight each other.


The culture of the Decetra is built around and individualism. Most citizens are brought up in an education system that pressures students early on about the consequences of failure, while providing support for when they need help learning something. This stands in contrast to the Advectix, which believe that they should focus on gifted students early on, and simply train the rest to do menial labor. The Decetra don't like this, as it makes class mobility nearly impossible.

The origins of the Decetra came from the creation of the Ferhos Republic. Many people among the colonies in Picaeru were inspired off of this event, and even afterwards the Decetra became allied with the Ferhos for numerous endeavors, such as the democratization of most of Picaeru's countries, with one exception. The Decetra were also motivated by how much more the rigid heirarchies had over their people, and wanted to overcome the Kophyll Oligarchy and the Mittarn Empire's wealth.

Image: an Amphin throwing a dart, piercing an elf's neck.
Decetra Liberator
Creature - Salamander Rogue
Flash, deathtouch
When ~ enters the battlefield, gain control of target creature until end of turn. You can't attack with it or activate its abilities this turn.
1/4
"On your signal, we will deploy."


The Decetra's demographics have become defined by their policy. The Decetra Federation's early revolutionaries were Salamanders, which were marginalized when they were under the rule of the Mittarn Empire. Another group were a species of anthropomorphic creatures that were dominated by the rule of the Kophyll, which were treated with harsh racism due to them resembling bats. What happened was that the two groups came together and had the idea of allying together to destroy the influence of the conquerors and make a new world of independence. Taking advantage of the frequent fighting between the Mittarn and the Kophyll, the underground coalition was able to get enough weapons imported to the region.

What happened next was an absolute bloodbath. The Mittarn's increased taxation on the region prompted several colonies to rebel. Those that were in Kophyll space took time and effort to send faked reports back that some of their leaders were assassinated because the Mittarn associated the new rebellions with acts of espionage. The Kophyll subsequently declared a war for the region, exporting weapons to a location that the revolutionaries manipulated them into - the front lines.

When the Kophyll received word back from someone that claimed to be the dead generals, they promptly ignored the messages, suspecting them to be misinformation, and sent an "ambassador" to the region to clean up the place. Said ambassador was shot inside their ship. Meanwhile, the Mittarn being split apart at the seams made it harder for them to retain control over their territory. They then taken the opportunity to establish enough military force while the empires were ensnared in chaos. At that point, the Federation had enough weapons to defend the merchant ships that they sent to the mother countries. They milked the high prices for the products only they were able to make at the time, and the country's population grew richer.

Defensive Assessment :1::u:
Instant
Choose two -
  • Target creature gets +0/+2 until end of turn.
  • Target creature gets -2/-0 until end of turn.
  • Draw two cards, then discard two cards.


The Decetra Federation eventually gotten on better terms with the Mittarn Empire after the latter became the Zaevola, which given their colonies independence and reduced their policy to mutual defense. This was thanks to a helping of diplomacy with the Ferhos Republic. However, the Federation continued to harass the Kophyll, as the immortal oligarchy didn't want to change their ways and proved to be one hell of a cockroach to destroy. The Kophyll remain to argue that the Decetra's "revolutionary" actions were an excuse to commit piracy.

If that wasn't bad enough, the Decetra now had to deal with a new faction: the Casirum. The anti-intellectuals see the Federation as a representation of ultimate evil; the Decetra to them are two-faced thieves that "corrupted the protectors of the seas" beyond repair, and enabled organizations like the Hydrexis Library to be created. The Federation were also seen to them as bad people because they appear weak, not putting people into prison that deserve it, while the Decetra see excessive imprisonment as a failure, as it wouldn't do any help for anyone as a whole if the convict doesn't change. Diplomatic relationships between the Decetra and the Casirum are through the floor, and the Decetra do not care about fixing that.


Last edited by preadatordetector on Sat Oct 14, 2017 12:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 11:07 pm 
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The

Zaevola Commonwealth

The Zaevola Commonwealth is the remains of a fallen power, the Mittarn Empire. The Mittarn Empire was infamous in history for their brash and brutal tactics, underhanded schemes, and recklessness that cost their competition fortune beyond measure.

The Empire dissolved into a commonwealth after it became economically impractical to enforce their system, and instead of letting the Empire fall into segregated feudalism, the mother country, Mitra, elected to loosen up its grip on the rest of the world and allow the colonies to act independently. They signed a treaty with their former colonies to act as an alliance of independent nations that work towards mutual defense and prosperity, instead of being ruled under one central government.

Tarnished Crusader :1::br::w:
Creature - Hound Knight
Lifelink, haste
When you have less life than an opponent, ~ gains double strike.
2/3
"Bigger and stronger is meaningless to the smaller and faster."


The nation that previously held this power now called themselves the Zaevola, after a legend. The legend was that a Mitra subject that was sent to assassinate a Kophyll general (and became captured) burned the left half of his body in order to intimidate the warriors into leaving the territory that belonged to the mother country. It didn't work, as the Kophyll general said to let him burn himself to death, but using that instant of time, the warrior set the rest of the tent on fire, leaving the general's guards vulnerable. When the fire occurred, a storm of arrows killed half of the bodyguards trying to put out the fire.

Needless to say, the general lost his composure and, instead of being routed out of Mitra, surrendered himself to the enemy force. This demoralized the Kophyll in the extreme, as their nobility was brought up with a fanatical respect to family and kin. Betraying family was considered a grave crime in the Kophyll, but even worse was the fact that the general was the Duke of Greywood, related really closely with one of the three supreme oligarchs of the Kophyll.

Break Composure
Instant
End the turn if four or more permanents were put into the graveyard from the battlefield this turn.
Suppress - If a permanent was dealt noncombat damage this turn, target opponent sacrifices a permanent.
After having his entire guard detail decimated by archers, Cint, Duke of Greywood, surrendered immediately.


Despite how the soldiers themselves act in war; covering themselves in blood red cloth, burning the dead, and turning their body count into grotesque warnings to enemy forces, the Mittarn treated their prisoners of war with respect. When Cint, the captured duke, was brought to the prison camp, he was surprised to find Mittarn forces interacting with prisoners as equals, even trying to enjoy each others' company, compared to his treatment near the top of the oligarchy. Cint defected immediately and even swore vengeance against his brother for being treated as a pawn.

Eventually, Cint created an order of pyromancers called the Ashwood. Pyromancy (trying to see the future with the use of flames) in the Kophyll was taboo, especially to treefolk, and Cint wanted to delve into this dark art. He was unable to do that until he turned coat. Eventually the order caught the interest of Mitra's leadership, who decided to sanction the organization in secret. The Ashwood became known for its members being able to self-immolate without harming themselves. Many members don't last very long, eventually turning their pyrotechnical skills into works of art instead of for healing themselves.

Ashwood of Taboo
Creature - Treefolk Wizard
Drown (When you scry this card, you may put it into the graveyard.)
Whenever a source deals noncombat damage, scry 1.
1/3
Pyromancers are to treefolk as disease mages are to humans. Fire is a force that spreads rapidly, and thus is taboo to most treefolk except to the Ashwood.


Needless to say, the Mittarn, and by extension the Zaevola, use psychological warfare to both intimidate and awe their enemies. However, they also are infamously reckless in their tactics, resorting to underhanded operations to get anything done. This often bites them in the rear, as what happened with the subsequent independence of the Decetra colony because of their support for the Ferhos, which seeked independence from the Kophyll. It eventually became extremely expensive to maintain this system, which lead to the commonwealth treaty forged by Mitra's citizens.

By the time that treaty was formed, Mitra was already pressured by the Glaxori to turn to democracy. The Glaxori were never good at diplomacy, and the Decetra and Ferhos instead were responsible for the democratization of Mitra. The conflict between the Glaxori's renewable resource industry and Mitra's consumer product industry also led to a deep divide between the two nations. Mitra's citizens often see the Glaxori as asking too high a price, and suspect them of piracy because of their intense rivalry with the Merlito Armada, which is an NGO firstly, and secondly was built to stop piracy.

Zaevola also are highly suspicious of the Hydrexis, because the Hydrexis's non-governmental status, secluded shareholder policy, and original involvement in politics are very damning evidence of the organization despite most other peoples' praise of the group. Finally, they have an intense dislike of the Advectix because of the group's nasty interference with trade because of their traditions.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 2:36 am 
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Just an update for you guys I am having the following issues:

1. The plane's name is too... well it's just bad and feels terrible. I would like it changed but this is hard.
2. I am having trouble writing for the Prunvi Territories since I removed the tribal themes from the ten+ factions to distinguish it from XLN.
3. I have a creature sheet ready to show off for this plane, with classes, species, and et cetera.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:55 pm 
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I see a lot of your discussions made it here.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 11:52 am 
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Maybe you could focus on classes instead of tribes if you're worried about crowding Ixalan's design space.

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