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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:58 pm 
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:cry:

To quote the recently departed Tom Petty: "God, it's so painful, something that's so close, and still so far out of reach."


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 4:49 am 
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Barinellos wrote:
But yeah, Alessa isn't in a cheery kind of way these days.

Yeah, that was the sense I've gotten, from our discussions. It's not fun for me to see her like this, but I really do like Alessa, and I've been missing her. :(

This will kinda feed into a note below, but believe me, as prickly and miserable as she is right now, this is still sunshine to certain parts of her past.

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That's a crossed wire on my part, then. I'll have to see if I can sub in a more in-character ending.

weeeeell, I don't know that I'd call it a crossed wire so much as... an incomplete command thread.
You probably could have hit it the first time, but you'd have to have considered longer term implications of her history to have arrived at the conclusion.

What all this is totaled to is that Alessa spent years living on the streets without anything and half out of her head. Thievery is, unpleasantly, probably the most pleasant thing she's done to survive.
So, she wouldn't waste food given the desperation of that period in her life.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 5:25 am 
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Children: nice. From what I remember of the interactions between Nasina and Nasperge, I wouldn't think the polite lady is past!Nasina, but I can't exclude the possibility; the imagery is surely there. I feel like not using the word "parlor" in this piece is a bit of a missed opportunity, though :D

The Rose: [Alessa has joined the 'Walkers that Need a Hug Club.] The Multiverse is not a happy place for many of our 'walkers. I'm glad there are Beryl, Aloise, Daneera and others evening the numbers a bit. It's interesting how Alessa doesn't need to think about her possible courses of action, because she can actually see them. It's nice to see how this looks from outside, like in Complications, but Alessa's POV is really something, especially when her heart is so hard that she can idly contemplate some pretty brutal stuff.

The Mirror: I get that feeling. Very powerful character moment, the mention of Beryl's reflection is a nice touch.

Sooner or later I'll read Red Sky.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:55 pm 
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Thanks so much for reading, Raven and Huey! As ever, your support sustains me. :)


:cry:

To quote the recently departed Tom Petty: "God, it's so painful, something that's so close, and still so far out of reach."

Yeah. For a story in which -- almost literally -- nothing happens, this one hurts. I think regret is one of the heaviest things we carry around with us, and that's what this story is about, really. It's about regret.

The Nasperge/Moira backstory is one which I don't think I initially realized was going to loom as large in my imagination as it subsequently has. But it has come to feel very real to me, and very relatable. It's about the ways in which two people can clearly be very important to each other, even as they believe that, in other ways, their lives just don't quite fit. And it's about not taking tomorrow for granted, which is perilously easy to do.

Man... somehow, TNSC has taken a maudlin turn of late. Maybe I can do something about that tomorrow.


Children: nice. From what I remember of the interactions between Nasina and Nasperge, I wouldn't think the polite lady is past!Nasina, but I can't exclude the possibility; the imagery is surely there.

It certainly wasn't my original intention! But it is fascinating to think about, now that Raven raised the notion.


Barinellos wrote:
I feel like not using the word "parlor" in this piece is a bit of a missed opportunity, though

This is, unquestionably, a missed trick. :)


The Rose: [Alessa has joined the 'Walkers that Need a Hug Club.] The Multiverse is not a happy place for many of our 'walkers. I'm glad there are Beryl, Aloise, Daneera and others evening the numbers a bit.

Me too. Me too.


It's interesting how Alessa doesn't need to think about her possible courses of action, because she can actually see them. It's nice to see how this looks from outside, like in Complications, but Alessa's POV is really something, especially when her heart is so hard that she can idly contemplate some pretty brutal stuff.

Yeah. I honestly have a really, really hard time getting my head around how to tell stories with Alessa's sight, because I end up having a hard time creating believable surprises that she wouldn't have just seen coming. And I feel like stories kind of need surprises, even if they're small, mundane ones. The muses will try to pull me in a new direction -- one of those happy little surprises -- only to have Alessa drag me back, with this look that says, "you can't seriously think I'd have stumbled into that, can you?" Barin's much better at navigating that minefield than I am. :)

When I'm trying to imagine what it's like to be Alessa, I end up resorting a lot to videogame analogies inside my own head, just to help me understand her sight. I imagine a kind of future sight HUD overlaid over the world, where she can watch the shadows of the future overlaid with the present, and kind of toggle back and forth between different possibilities. Canonically, it's not quite right, but it helps me to get my head around the problem.


The Mirror: I get that feeling. Very powerful character moment, the mention of Beryl's reflection is a nice touch.

Yeah. I get that feeling, too.


Sooner or later I'll read Red Sky.

Well, don't sweat it, one way or the other! It's not like any of this is going anywhere!


* * *

Thanks again for reading!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:41 pm 
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The Rose: [Alessa has joined the 'Walkers that Need a Hug Club.] The Multiverse is not a happy place for many of our 'walkers. I'm glad there are Beryl, Aloise, Daneera and others evening the numbers a bit.

Me too. Me too.

In all due discourse, I'm still of the idea that even should Alessa be in the finest of spirits, Aloise would drive her up the wall.

Quote:
It's interesting how Alessa doesn't need to think about her possible courses of action, because she can actually see them. It's nice to see how this looks from outside, like in Complications, but Alessa's POV is really something, especially when her heart is so hard that she can idly contemplate some pretty brutal stuff.

Yeah. I honestly have a really, really hard time getting my head around how to tell stories with Alessa's sight, because I end up having a hard time creating believable surprises that she wouldn't have just seen coming. And I feel like stories kind of need surprises, even if they're small, mundane ones. The muses will try to pull me in a new direction -- one of those happy little surprises -- only to have Alessa drag me back, with this look that says, "you can't seriously think I'd have stumbled into that, can you?" Barin's much better at navigating that minefield than I am. :)
It's all that fourth dimensional chess I've played!
As to Huey's comment, yeah, I know some folks kind of have some fair points with how casually callous Alessa can be towards others, but this is precisely one of the reasons she's the way she is. There's rarely a day that goes by when Alessa doesn't experience something awful in her head. In graphic 4k detail. And technicolor.

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When I'm trying to imagine what it's like to be Alessa, I end up resorting a lot to videogame analogies inside my own head, just to help me understand her sight. I imagine a kind of future sight HUD overlaid over the world, where she can watch the shadows of the future overlaid with the present, and kind of toggle back and forth between different possibilities. Canonically, it's not quite right, but it helps me to get my head around the problem.

Eh, close enough to get the job done. Done well, I should add.

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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:17 am 
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Tuesday, Tuesday, Tueaday!

Through

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 4:18 pm 
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Regret is a common theme in my life, along with freezing just out of sight. I teared up at Nasperge's self-imposed plight.

"Through" is a lot of fun, in what felt like a new genre for around here, until I realized that it's something of a more civilized pit fight. The implied sponsorship deal was a particular delight.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 4:47 pm 
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This was a fun story, and I have often considered trying to invite some sort of sport for an M:EM plane, although this story is not necessarily Magic-themed. In the second sentence, when you mention the Angel for the first time, I assumed this was set on a Magic-type world and that it was a sport for literal angels, at which point I had debated responding with an embittered Hanara wanting to play along and being turned down, but then I realized it was team names.

Thanks for posting!


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:34 pm 
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Is this a new plane? Because it seems comparable to Kaladesh in tech level, at least, although the lack of pseudo-Indian names threw me for a bit.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:57 pm 
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"Though" is good, the POV is very engaging and the action is well written; unfortunately, the momentum is slightly spoiled by the need to piece together the rules of the game and even the shape of the playing field. Also, I hope you imagined a third common way to score points that are not multiples of 5, because otherwise I see no reason not to set the score as 7-8 instead of 35-40; arbitrarily multiplying a game's points just to have big numbers is a pet peeve of mine *glares at yu-gi-oh*

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I apologize in advance for any misuse of English grammar and idiomatic expressions.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:44 pm 
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Wow, thank you so much to everyone for reading! As ever, your kindness sustains me!


Brentain wrote:
Regret is a common theme in my life, along with freezing just out of sight. I teared up at Nasperge's self-imposed plight.

Yeah. It gets to me, too. :( Regret is, I think, maybe the great double-edged emotional sword. It can be a spur to change, to be better, or it can be an anchor that drags you down, down, down, sacrificing the present and the future on the altar of the past.


Brentain wrote:
"Through" is a lot of fun, in what felt like a new genre for around here, until I realized that it's something of a more civilized pit fight. The implied sponsorship deal was a particular delight.

Hah, yeah, that's definitely the vibe I was going for. I remember CKY's comment in the Guide to Solphos that Pulse Circus stars tend not to have long careers, because the fatality rate for competitors is problematically high, so, when I tried to imagine what pulseball might be like, it kind of ended up as this weird amalgamation of hockey, soccer, football, and roller derby, with a little gladiatorial edge thrown in for good measure. Basically, just the craziest spectacle I could imagine, that still seemed vaguely recognizable to me as a sport.

But I figured that, if you did live long enough to become a star, you could still end up on that Wheaties box. :D

Thank you so much for reading, Brentain!


This was a fun story, and I have often considered trying to invite some sort of sport for an M:EM plane, although this story is not necessarily Magic-themed. In the second sentence, when you mention the Angel for the first time, I assumed this was set on a Magic-type world and that it was a sport for literal angels, at which point I had debated responding with an embittered Hanara wanting to play along and being turned down, but then I realized it was team names.

Thanks for posting!

Thank you for reading!

And, yeah, I kind of love that there is that moment of initial ambiguity, where it isn't immediately clear if the Angels and the Hydras are literal angels and hydras, or if those are just team names. And I do sort of like to imagine that -- for all we know -- you could have an actual angel on one of the teams, and so on. That totally seems like the sort of thing which would happen! I bet it would be great publicity.

So, hey, Hanara should try out! :)

Anyway, glad it was a fun one. I had fun writing it!


Landis963 wrote:
Is this a new plane? Because it seems comparable to Kaladesh in tech level, at least, although the lack of pseudo-Indian names threw me for a bit.

This is supposed to take place on CKY's plane, Solphos. He mentioned in the world guide that there's a giant arena called the Pulse Circus, where deadly spectacles and sports matches take place, and I've always been fascinated by that idea, of just what a sports league on Solphos might be like. I've been wanting to try to write something along those lines for literally years, and I finally just decided to take a whack at it, and I'm glad that I did. :)

Thanks for reading, Landis!


"Though" is good, the POV is very engaging and the action is well written; unfortunately, the momentum is slightly spoiled by the need to piece together the rules of the game and even the shape of the playing field. Also, I hope you imagined a third common way to score points that are not multiples of 5, because otherwise I see no reason not to set the score as 7-8 instead of 35-40; arbitrarily multiplying a game's points just to have big numbers is a pet peeve of mine *glares at yu-gi-oh*

Thanks so much for reading, Huey!

Yeah, the story definitely just sort of drops you right into the middle of this controlled chaos, with little or no explanation, and asks you to just roll along with it. I sort of went back and forth for a while about whether I wanted to do more explanation at the beginning, or whether I wanted to just go full speed ahead, and, in the end, I opted for the latter, because I actually sort of liked the confusing momentum it gives, where it's almost like the action's speeding ahead of you, before you even know what's what, and because -- truth be told -- I have only the foggiest notion of what the rules of pulseball even are, so I couldn't have explained them if I tried. There was a very Calvinball-esque mentality that went into it all, and I guess I'm not surprised if it ended up a little confusing, because I'm not sure I can explain it, either. :)

The rough notion I have in my head is:

- The play area is like a soccer field, but with a little ability to use three dimensional space. There's no physical ground; everyone's sort of skating in the air on this aether field, but the field doesn't extend indefinitely up or down, there's a sort of vertical band in which most of the action takes place. You can jump or dive, but the field will pull you back to it afterward.
- The players all wear aetherskates. The effect is a weird cross between flying and skating.
- There are boost pads and jump pads at fixed locations on the field, which you can use to go faster or higher.
- There are goals at each end.
- Players have hockey-like sticks. Goalies get an extra stick, and theirs can be netlike or clublike.
- The field is split into zones. There's a sort of open area in the middle (like the neutral zone in hockey), then a scoring zone nearer to each goal. You can score by throwing the ball in for 5 points, or running it in for 10. Once you pass over the line into the final goal area, though, you can only run, not pass.
- Each team has a captain, who wears a special flag. Something bad happens if your flag gets pulled off. What that something bad is, I do not know. :)
- Penalties come with either a yellow (minor) or red (major) card, like in soccer, and are assessed by taking the offending player out of play for a fixed period of time, like in hockey. The penalty zone is a level below the field of play; and the ref shuts down your skates when you're under a penalty.

So, yeah, basically total chaos. On skates! :)


Also, I hope you imagined a third common way to score points that are not multiples of 5, because otherwise I see no reason not to set the score as 7-8 instead of 35-40; arbitrarily multiplying a game's points just to have big numbers is a pet peeve of mine *glares at yu-gi-oh*

It was totally arbitrary just to have larger numbers, and I'm sorry that I poked at a peeve! For whatever reason, I liked having a football-type score, as opposed to a hockey- or soccer-type total.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 10:27 pm 
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Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday!

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:11 pm 
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I like that metaphor. It's a fresh twist that fits her so perfectly.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 08, 2017 12:03 am 
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Time Bandits


:D


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:53 am 
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Thanks so much for reading, Brentain and Raven! It is deeply appreciated!


Brentain wrote:
I like that metaphor. It's a fresh twist that fits her so perfectly.

Thanks! I'm glad that you liked it; I did, too!

It's a very odd little story. It's sort of two different halves, hinged together, which maybe aren't the most natural fit. But I like them both separately, and I will always grab any excuse to spend a little time with Jackie and Trotter. :)


Time Bandits


:D

Hah! I love it! :D

I hope no one shoots the Breeze, though! :takei:

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 9:51 am 
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Hah! I love it! :D

I hope no one shoots the Breeze, though! :takei:

Well, you know, those Ridders get what they get when they go on a Red Rid, after all. You can't just go after honest criminals trying to make a dishonest living...

But I wouldn't worry. This is clearly non-canon, because nobody knows that Red is alive. Well, I guess we know that at least someone knows, we just don't know who. But based on the events in "Mistakes of the Past," I would guess it is NOT a Ridder.

Also, now I need to create a Ridder centaur named Moon, so that some card player can shoot the moon...


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 1:04 pm 
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But I wouldn't worry. This is clearly non-canon, because nobody knows that Red is alive. Well, I guess we know that at least someone knows, we just don't know who. But based on the events in "Mistakes of the Past," I would guess it is NOT a Ridder.
And most likely someone else, too.

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Also, now I need to create a Ridder centaur named Moon, so that some card player can shoot the moon...
Angels forbid the two start riding together.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 2:09 pm 
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Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday!

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:43 pm 
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By coincidence, I read part of Another Fine Myth with my laziest child over the weekend. There are worse ways to find an apprentice, I suppose.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:58 pm 
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Brentain wrote:
By coincidence, I read part of Another Fine Myth with my laziest child over the weekend. There are worse ways to find an apprentice, I suppose.

Oh, man, I love that book. I've only ever read the first two in the series, but it was probably the first really "light-hearted" fantasy book I had ever read, and holds a special place in my heart.

@Heat: Neat. A. Rimmer makes me think of the word arrhythmic, and the idea of an arrhythmic blacksmith amuses me. I really like the idea of Vesla smelling and hearing the metal because of her colorblindness.

Thanks for posting!


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